1:11 - Myers blows his perfect game with the first walk of the day. Two down, man on first.

1:13 - And Myers gets out of the inning. Phillies up to bat next!

1:14 - The crowd is going nuts so far for pretty much everything. After Myers' first pitch, when he threw a strike, the crowd cheered like the Phils had just won the World Series.

1:18 - The Phillies start this season off right: A pair of strikeouts.

1:21 - Ryan Howard singles and Chase Utley grounds out to end the inning. Howard, who batted fourth last season, is hitting third today. It's not a bad move -- he gets more pitches, more protection, etc. -- but it naturally came after Howard hit fourth all spring. Perhaps the Phillies did it just to spite Bill Conlin, who wrote a column last Friday saying the Phils' offense was in good shape because Howard would bat fourth from the start of the season this year. Whoops!

1:29 - The Phils survive a leadoff double and get out of the inning. Myers ends it with a strikeout.

1:31 - After a Burrell strikeout, CBS 3's Beasley Reece lets us know Harry The K's has added filet mignon to i ts menu this year. But of course!

1:38 - CBS 3 keeps running this promo for its new HD news broadcast with a cute little intro -- an old clip saying "CBS presents this program in color!" -- but then goes a little further and says "You haven't see anything like this!" I know the field cameras are going to be in HD proportions as well, but still -- it's just a better-looking newscast. Just tell me if I'm going to be able to see Alycia Lane's pores, okay?

1:41 - And Myers puts 'em down 1-2-3.

1:47 - And Smoltz does the same. BASEBALL FEVER, CAN YOU CATCH IT!

1:50 - Now we enter into the fourth inning, which means the television announcers are Chris Wheeler (play-by-play) and Gary Matthews (analysis). Meanwhile, Beasley Reece does another Phillies ballpark promo, letting us know Planet Hoagie has a vegetarian option this year.

1:51 - Brett Myers has thrown six consecutive balls. Chipper Jones is on first.

1:53 - That was indeed a bad omen. Brian McCann hits a two-run homer to put the Braves up a pair of runs.

1:59 - Howard's gonna hit 1.000 this year! 2-for-2 with two singles.

2:02 - Chase Utley singles, but the ump says the ball hits Ryan Howard, which means he's out. It most certainly didn't hit him. I think.

2:05 - I don't know. It might have grazed Howard's foot, but I don't think so. Meanwhile, Howard Burrell walks and Utley takes second.

2:10 - Rowand lines out to end the inning. Still 2-0 Braves. The camera shows a kid who's clearly about 6 months old. "Maybe it's his first game," says Wheels. Gee, ya think?

2:14 - To make this announcing crew even more exciting, Phillies GM Pat Gillick is in the booth. He refers to Myers' arrest for wife-beating last year as "an incident." BASEBALL FEVER!

2:18 - Myers is back to form and sets the Braves down 1-2-3.

2:24 - Home run! Rollins drills a 1-2 pitch deep into the seats in right center. It was one of those swings where you could tell the ball was gone as soon it connected.

2:26 - Victorino grounds out and we're into the sixth inning.

2:29 - JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE BROADCAST BOOTH COULDN'T GET ANY MORE EXCITING! Here comes Steve Steinhour, CEO of Citizens Financial Group! WHOOOO!

2:31 - Right now there's a man on second and two outs. Brian McCann, who homered last time up, is at-bat now.

2:32 - Meanwhile, Steve Steinhour is talking about all the great charity Citizens Bank does! BASEBALL FEVER!

2:33 - Myers strikes out McCann and the inning is over. Then we get the Dodge commercial with "Smoke on the Water" -- totally a good omen.

2:36 - Beasley Reece interviews a guy dressed like Ben Franklin -- not Ralph Archbold, I don't think -- only with a Phillies jersey on. Ben says we're going all the way this year. Whoo! Meanwhile, Ryan Howard's average drops to .667 with a strikeout.

2:39 - After an Utley groundout, John Smoltz continues to prove he's been listening to Phillies fans, as he pretty much throws everything low and outside. Somehow, Burrell then bloops a Texas League single into center, only his second career hit off Smoltz.

2:42 - Tie game! Wes Helms doubles to center -- just out of the reach of super outfielder Andruw Jones -- and Pat Burrell scores. 2-up!

2:45 - Huzzah! Phils take a 3-2 lead on a bloop single to shallow center by Aaron Rowand. (The second baseman had the ball, but he dropped it.) Barajas flies out to end the inning. Remember: This time last year, it was 10-0 on a grand slam by Scott Rolen.

2:51 - Myers shuts down the Braves 1-2-3! Man, he really is a lot skinnier this year. Maybe he's been having lots of makeup sex with his wife or something and dropped all that weight. It's stretch time.

2:55 - Myers stays in the game to bat for himself. He's looking to pick up a third strikeout here, I'm sure.

2:58 - New Braves pitcher Mike Gonzalez responds by promptly walking Myers on four pitches. Jimmy Rollins follows with a double, and it's 2nd and 3rd with nobody out.

3:01 - And the Phillies promptly respond with back-to-back strikeouts by Shane Victorino and Ryan Howard. Utley is up with two outs.

3:03 - Utlely grounds out, and it's a Phillies special again! Insurance run on third with no outs and what happens: K, K, groundout. A friend IMs: "You can set your watch by this crap." What the hell does "set your watch" mean?

3:08 - Myers stays in (obviously) and gets a strikeout and a flyout.

3:09 - Right on cue, Edgar Renteria hits an 0-2 gopherball over the wall in dead center. 3-all. Pitching change now.

3:14 - Lefty Matt Smith gets a groundout and the inning is over. Tied at 3. Another late-inning Phillies special.

3:18 - Burrell hits one just foul down the left-field line, then pops out to first. And here come the boos! No, really.

3:22 - With two outs, Rowand walks. Rod Bajaras, who hit .256 last year, is up. Cue the ninth inning!

3:24 - After a groundout, here we go! And the first batter nearly hits a homer, but it's caught by Victorino at the track.

3:30 - Brian McCann singles -- his third hit of the day -- but Tom Gordon strikes out Jeff Francoeur and there are two outs.

3:32 - Ryan Howard bobbles the ball for an error. Next batter: Utley dives to save a run, but the bases are loaded.

3:34 - And Gordon strikes 'im out and we're still tied. Phew. Huge play by Utley to save a run.

3:37 - Spring training phenom Greg Dobbs will pinch hit to lead off the ninth. And he swings at the first pitch and grounds out. Yee-haw.

3:39 - And we have Chris Wheeler's first of many (many, many) references to a pitch being "middle in" this season.

3:42 - After a Rollins strikeout, Shane Victorino doesn't strike out! And: He doubles! Now, the question: Will the Braves intentionally walk Ryan Howard with Chase Utley hitting behind him?

3:44 - No. After two balls, they intentionally walk Howard. Utley is up.

3:46 - Gee, thanks guys. I have to keep doing this since we're headed to extra innings after an Utley foul out. To the 10th! It appears Ryan Madson will come in.

3:49 - In case you're wondering, Ryan Madson's ERA last season was 5.69. And he has a three-ball count to the first batter.

3:50 - A leadoff walk. I see a few fans starting to leave already.

3:54 - And that's all, folks. Edgar Renteria hits a two-run homer -- after missing on a few bunt attempts -- to put the Braves up 5-3.

3:56 - Ryan Madson lowers his ERA from ∞ to a respectable 54.00 (I think) with a strikeout.

3:58 - 1-2-3 after the homer. Phils down 5-3 going into the bottom of the 10th.

4:03 - Pat Burrell strikes out.

4:04 - There's this really annoying sound effect the Phils' broadcast is using today that sounds like a metal bat connecting with a pitch. Oh, and Wes Helms flew out.

4:06 - That was fast. Rowand grounds out on something like zero pitches and the game is over. Braves win 5-3 with a pair of homers by Edgar Renteria, who came into the game with 105 career homers in 6143 at bats. Let's, uh, try again Wednesday?

I need a drink.