Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you." is a comforting phrase we heard from parents while growing up in the '40s, '50s and the beginning of the '60s. Not so these days in our politically correct environment, where left-leaning media, sensitive, over-civilized folks, the ACLU and underemployed lawyers of every stripe are poised to pounce.

Ann Coulter was beaten up for using the six-letter "f" word by a whole crowd of people who purported to know what she meant by saying "faggot" which amounts to the third meaning of this word. A few decades ago, as a schoolyard taunt, it was usually meant to accuse another of being a coward, a wuss, one who folds like a bundle of sticks in a difficult situation, as its second meaning. During that period, the word for someone demonstrating homosexual behavior was the adjective "queer."

Wait, exactly how does the ACLU figure into this? Did they sue Ann Coulter? Did their lawsuit against a bar that bans dreadlocks (ha!) somehow infringe on the right to call someone a fag?

Ann Coulter and the rest of us should defer back to the original word meanings. If Coulter was referring to pederasty among the Democratics, (they don't like being called members of the Democrat Party) say that. If the reference was to a bunch of cowards, say that. If you're talking about wood kindling for a fire, say that.

Oh now come on. Gee, I wonder what Ann Coulter was trying to say when she said "faggot." Oh, she must have been talking about bundles of sticks! Also, Democrats -- oh, sorry, Democratics -- apparently have a big pederasty problem.

Long ago, back in the 300s at the time of Thermopylae, according to historian Ephraim Lytle, assistant professor of Hellenistic history at the University of Toronto, the Greek verb "to Spartanize" meant "to bugger" when pederasty was a frequent target of Athenian comedy. Words have always been deliberately mis-applied from their original meanings by innuendo and by the pictures that certain words create in our minds. Isn't it time we put the worst of these words back to their original meanings and debated whether we want our children to consider the behavioral acts inferred by these slurs as normal, or not, in our society?

Oh, so Ann Coulter should have called John Edwards a Spartan? I'm confused here. Also, nice tie-in with the popular movie 300! I wonder how Ed Kelley would have combined Wild Hogs into this column.

Such word usage doesn't need to be insulting, if incisive and accurate meanings are used without the hyperbole.

Yeah, it doesn't need to insult anyone. Ed Kelley just wants the children to know it's wrong!

The target groups throughout history have often been the originators of their own self descriptive words or at least have adopted those words in their own discourse. Language has an almost infinite inventory of innocent words that groups hijack for their own use. "Gay" should again mean "happy."

The word "gay," a second meaning, was hijacked by homosexual behavioralists, probably from the Gay Nineties (1890) or perhaps during the Roaring 1920s, I'm not sure.

Homosexual behavioralists? First off, it's behaviorist. Second off... guh-wah? Does Ed Kelley sit around at Christmastime, shuddering every time he has to sing "Don we now our gay apparel," cursing the "homosexual behavioralists" for having the audacity to participate in the evolution of language?

There are many other words hijacked into the mainstream, some used mostly in Europe, like puff, Father-Hand-Bag, Feather-Duster, MoPed, "I'm going to the Queer Place" (for, " I'm going to the Men's Room") and many more.

I really love the random capitalization here, too. Apparently men's room (or, rather, queer place) is a proper noun now.

I can think of one expression the pederasty practitioners should stay away from. Ireland is often referred to as "The Auld Sod" in song and verse. If the pederasty community hijacks this to mean an aging homosexual, there will be 40 Million Americans of Irish decent rioting and filing class action suits ... faster than a bricked camel sucks up 30 days of water!

Ha ha! Faster than a bricked camel! What a knee-slapper, Eddie! Also: What the fuck?

Once the words are out of the way we should look at the real issues. If the Congress of the United States can insist that they are against the war, but very much in favor of the troops, without turning into a pillar of salt like Lott's wife, then it follows that there's nothing objectionable about saying that being a homosexual is OK, but at the same time condemning homosexual behavior as immoral, wrong and anathema.

Lot. It's a biblical character, not a San Francisco 49ers defensive back. Also: What the fuck?

General Peter Pace's personal opinion is that homosexual behavior is immoral. Benedict XVI is of the same opinion and has recently directed that active homosexuals cannot enter the priesthood. Who can blame him when priestly pedophilia has cost the Church over a billion dollars so far. Unlike some "experts" who claim pedophilia and homosexual behavior are different things altogether, it looks like the Pope has figured out the connection.

Unlike some "experts" who claim the church has lost over a billion dollars so far to priestly pedophilia... ah, whatever. And so now we're back to the best comment of the article. Yes, homosexuality is the same thing as pedophilia. "I, a man, like to fuck 45-year-old men." "Pedophile!"

Trying to gain better acceptance for homosexuals joining the priesthood, an organization called "Courageous" was started in 1990 by an Oblate priest of St Francis de Sales which encourages "chaste" homosexuals to pursue the priesthood. How successful or accepted it will be is yet to be determined. If heterosexual priests can be unmarried and chaste, why not homosexual priests. The Bulletin's Word Power word today is "abstain," the next issue's word could be "pederasty."

Ohh, the ol' "Word Power word." What does that ending even mean? Because of this group there's going to be.. oh, whatever. I'm done. I have to go to the queer place.

Commentary: Time To Stop Dancing Around The Meaning Of Words [Bulletin]