November 08, 2006

Did Mike Fitpatrick's Own Party Do Him In?

Let's take you back to April 2000. Yes, that's a ways back, but remember: People threw money at Internet businesses without even asking how they would make money, Arlen Specter was a U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania and John Street was bumbling around as mayor of Philadelphia. Okay, maybe things weren't all that different, but April 1, 2000 was when the census was taken.

Said census reduced Pennsylvania's representatives to 19 (down two) and the Republican legislature went around to re-drawing districts. And, naturally, the districts were drawn so the Republicans could pick up some seats. Democratic voters filed a lawsuit; the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of the legislature.

The biggest strangely-drawn district is District 6, which the plaintiffs said “looms like a dragon descending on Philadelphia from the west, splitting up towns and communities throughout Montgomery and Berks Counties." But District 8 was interesting, too: It encompassed all of Bucks County, but also snaked over into two wards in Philadelphia and a few sections of Montgomery County.

Fast forward to yesterday, when Mike Fitzpatrick is running for re-election in the 8th District. Of course, this is how the results ended up (please note: mathematical errors committed by me):

Bucks County:	Fitzpatrick +1,036
Montgomery County:	Murphy +1,564
Philadelphia:	Murphy +993
Total:	Murphy +1,521

Had the district just been Bucks County, it appears Fitzpatrick would have made his mom even prouder and won the race. But in part due to the state GOP's redistricting plan... it appears he'll be headed home after just one term. (PA-08 did have to add population from somewhere -- see comments -- to keep the districts equal, so whoever was added to Buxco's district could have swung the election anyway.)

Some would say this is just desserts for the GOP. (Although, really, it's not Fitzpatrick's fault; he was a Chair of the Buxco Board of Commissioners -- a good one! -- at the time.) It is good to see that the state legislature does as good of a job at gerrymandering than it does at passing non-pay raise laws. Thanks, guys.

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Electorate Will NOT Stand For Mistress-Choking

Let's pour a 40 on the corner for U.S. Rep. Don Sherwood, who was comfortably ahead in the polls and looked to cruise to a fifth term until the family-values conservative's ex-mistress accused him of choking her. He lost yesterday, as the tide of 200 different scandals -- 190 of them or so centered on the Republican party -- allowed opponent Chris Carney to pull the upset.

Of course, it didn't hurt that Carney ran ads saying "This incident with Don Sherwood just cuts right at the core values of our district." (Perhaps Sherwood can run for Congress in Vegas or something.) Sherwood responded by saying he was truly sorry for cheating on his wife with a woman 30 years his junior, but he didn't smack a bitch.

The best part of this election? Look who's gone: An alleged mistress choker, an alleged page diddler, a conspiracy theorist whose name rhymes with Bert Geldon, most of the Jack Abramoff-connected people, etc. It's like we're purging Congress of jerks! (And replacing them with more cunning jerks.)

Sex scandal costs GOP's Sherwood [AP/Inquirer]

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Yes, I'm Still Awake: U.S. Congress Update

Okay, here we go:

• Fattah 88, Republican With No Chance 9 (Called. And where's the other two percent?)
• Schwartz 67, Guy From The Apprentice 33 (Called.)
• Sestak 57, Weldon 43 (Called! And called first by me! Ehh. Yeah. I did it because of actual info I had, but I pry coulda done it just on a hunch anyway, so it's not anything to get excited about. Let's move on.)
• Lois Murphy 51, Jim Gerlach 49 (essentially a dead heat)
• Patrick Murphy 50, Mike Fitzpatrick 50 (this could come down to a vote or two, seriously

Looks like the House is going to be Democratic anyway. The Senate looks like it's going to be 50-50, but could still swing to the Democrats.

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November 07, 2006

Now THIS Is A Close Race

Seriously. Sudden death overtime for this one.

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Democrats To Control House, It Seems (Really!)

MSNBC has called the house for the Democrats.

CNN sez they need 2 (or 3? it keeps changing!) seats to control the House.

Either way... whoa.

Honestly, it looks like this: You can fuck up a war and you can fuck up a hurricane, but you can't fuck up both.

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Patrick Murphy's Mom Remains Silent On Issues

One of my favorite campaign mailers this fall was addressed to my mom and I. Apparently, one of my old schools gave my (and my mom's) information to Mike Fitzpatrick's camp, who in turn gave it over to his mother.

Yes, my mom and I -- not, strangely, my dad, who (unlike me) still lives there -- got a letter from Mary Fitzpatrick telling us what a good Catholic boy he was, how he went to Egan and how he loooooooves unborn babies. Okay, Mary doesn't tell us that, but it's certainly the real theme of the letter. Yes, Mike Fitzpatrick and Patrick Murphy are both Catholic, but Murphy is pro-choice. Mary even includes a photocopied column from the Bucks County Courier Times telling us how bad a Catholic Patrick Murphy allegedly is.

Here's the kicker:

[Michael] has been there for me throughout my entire life. I am writing this letter to let him and everyone know I am there for him.

Awwwww. However, I think if I were running for U.S. Congress, my mom would write a nice attack letter herself and not just include a photocopied column from a newspaper attacking my opponent.

Full letter from Ms. Fitz after the jump.

Continue reading "Patrick Murphy's Mom Remains Silent On Issues"

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November 06, 2006

Adwatch: Liberal Lois Revisited

Last week, Adwatch looked at the Republican ad that focused on Lois Murphy's breasts. That ad delighted in calling her "Liberal Lois" and announcing that she is going to "raise your taxes," as all good liberals do.

After the jump, a look at a different "Liberal Lois" ad that continues to emphasize the taxes and the liberalism, but isn't as concerned about her breasts.

Continue reading "Adwatch: Liberal Lois Revisited"

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Adwatch: Patrick Murphy & Giant TV Screens

With the election tomorrow, there is only one more day to make fun of stupid political ads. The upshot is that there's only one more day to watch them on television, a point I need to remind myself of every five minutes lest I think this is how things are going to be for the rest of the month.

Another upshot is that I have a lot of pre-packaged content this afternoon, leaving me able to nap under my desk while no one is looking. After the jump, the first of several Adwatches today, this one a look at a recent ad for Democratic House candidate Patrick Murphy, an Iraq war vet.

Continue reading "Adwatch: Patrick Murphy & Giant TV Screens"

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November 02, 2006

Adwatch: I Like Joe (For Congress)

Okay, today's Adwatch wasn't on TV and isn't an official campaign ad, but I don't care. It's a minute-long ad with a bouncing ball -- so you can follow the words! -- about how Curt Weldon needs to go, with a little bit of Joe Sestak praise thrown in at the end. And it's done by former members of the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

Because if there's one group I want to tell me who to vote for, it's the Squirrel Nut Zippers. (Perhaps their next hit can be, "If you vote for Bush... D and the A and the M and the N and the A and the T and the I-O-N." Ho ho!) Follow me after the jump for the ad.

Continue reading "Adwatch: I Like Joe (For Congress)"

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October 31, 2006

Leftovers: Philadelphia, Somewhere In The USA

• Behold, the Action News graphic for the Pier 34 murder trial. Yes, we Philadelphians are now too stupid to even know where the hell we are if the TV news doesn't point it out to us. [6 ABC]

• You can all stop sending me this story about the stolen puppy. First off, I'm sure it's a fine pup, but it's not nearly cute enough for me to steal. Second off, I was in a different part of Egg Harbor City that night. [NBC 10]

• Gay Marriage is unlikely in Jersey, as the legislators are likely to simply pass civil union laws instead. Sez an anti-civil union state senator in need of some rephrasing: "If all of a sudden we deemed that a white man that marries a black woman would be denied benefits, that's equal protection." [Press of AC]

• Curt Weldon earmarked money to the company whose director bought Terrell Owens' NFC Championship ring. Heh. [Inquirer]

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October 30, 2006

Adwatch: Bucks County Kitchens

Today, Adwatch looks at Mike Fitzpatrick, Republican congressman for the Eighth Congressional District, and his recent attack ads toward his opponent.

The ads mostly just replay a clip of Patrick Murphy on Hardball, where he can't tell Chris Matthews whether he would have voted for the Iraq war (which he served in), and they play up his inexperience. Let's explore one of these attack ads, after the jump.

Continue reading "Adwatch: Bucks County Kitchens"

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October 27, 2006

Adwatch: Joe Sestak Out Of Nowhere!

Today's Adwatch video is a 30-second spot for Admiral Joe Sestak, as he likes to call himself, a retired Vice Admiral in the Navy who's battling against noted conspiracy theorist Curt Weldon.

While Sestak is a political neophyte, he's running ahead of Curt Weldon in recent polls, mainly due to... well.. Curt Weldon being the zaniest (to put it nicely) politician ever. Also, Sestak has these ads that are, like, super-patriotic. I'll analyze one after the jump.

Continue reading "Adwatch: Joe Sestak Out Of Nowhere!"

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October 25, 2006

Leftovers: Actual Cheers For Jersey

• The New Jersey Supreme Court has ruled that gays and lesbians have equal partnership rights according to the New Jersey constitution, but doesn't say the state has to call it marriage. As such, get ready for some hot hot civil unions in the Dirty Jerz within 180 days. Hooray! [Inquirer]

• Don Sherwood, a U.S. Rep. from our fine state who also happened to allegedly choke his mistress, is now down nine points in a recent poll. Looks like Pennsylvania voters have some limits for their incumbents after all. [Ferrick's Poliblog]

• $211K of another U.S. Rep. from our fine state, Mike Fitzpatrick, has been linked to convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Dun dun dun! [Bucks County Courier Times]

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Adwatch: Lois Murphy's Breasts Will Raise Taxes

Welcome to Philadelphia Will Do's Adwatch, yet another hastily thrown together feature that features the best and worst (but mostly the worst) of political advertising. No fact-checking here, unless it's particularly funny. No, Adwatch dissects the ads to find out just what makes them so unintentionally hilarious. (Or, in rare cases, effective.)

Today's ad is an attack ad from the Republican National Congressional Committee, which you may remember from the famous 2004 ads where they essentially accused Democrats of being slaves to Osama Bin Laden. (Or something.) The ads were so over the top that Republican House candidate Mike Fitzpatrick actually asked them to stop running the ads. After the jump, the ad and some commentary.

Continue reading "Adwatch: Lois Murphy's Breasts Will Raise Taxes"

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October 23, 2006

Next For Weldon: Chants Of 'M-V-P!'

Every day it seems like there's a new, ultra-hilarious aspect of Curt "Gogolyguk" Weldon's campaign for re-election in the seventh district. Whether it's blaming everyone in the world for the federal probe, being an asshole to his daughter or even chiding his opponent for having a sick daughter, Weldon is a top-notch politician in terms of hilarity.

Which brings us to Friday night's debate with challenger Joe Sestak. Apparently, it was a pretty pro-Weldon crowd, according to the Inquirer:

The debate ended with chants of "Curt! Curt! Curt!"

You have got to be kidding me. This is gogolyguk.

Weldon comes out swinging [Inquirer]
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 19, 2006

Weldon Accuses 95 Percent Of America For FBI Raid

Monday's FBI raid of Congressman Curt Weldon's daughter and friend's houses and offices was met with the usual list of suspects: Democrats, the Liberal Media, etc.

But yesterday Weldon came up with another one: A former FBI agent said someone in opponent Joe Sestak's campaign knew the raid was going to happen! Because political neophytes usually have inside info with the Bush Justice Department. But that's not all. KYW 1060 recaps who Weldon has accused so far:

In an interview with the Daily Pennsylvanian this week, Weldon accused former President Bill Clinton, the left wing group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, former CIA official Mary McCarthy and others of involvement in sparking the FBI probe.

Actually missed that one on the DP interview, but, yep, that's the old Bill Clinton chestnut. Geeze. All he needs to do is all liberal gays and communists and he'll pretty much have blamed everyone in the whole entire world. For the Bush Justice Department's investigation of his daughter and his friend.

Let's just put this really clear: Curt Weldon is a blithering idiot. If you vote for him, so are you.

Weldon Says He Knows Who is Behind FBI Investigation [KYW 1060]
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 17, 2006

Curt Weldon Drums Up New Conspiracy Theory

Yesterday, the FBI raided the house of Curt Weldon's daughter -- among other places connected to her -- as part of an investigation whether Weldon improperly helped steer contracts her way. (Weldon is shown here speaking at the "coronation" of Rev. Sun Myung Moon -- which named Moon the God of the Earth or something and which Weldon helped organize -- standing next to a photo of himself pinning a medal on Moammar Al Qadhafi. Right.)

The deal involves contracts Weldon's daughter and Delaware County GOP bigwig Charles Sexton's company -- Solutions Worldwide -- received from Itera, a Russian natural gas company. The main deal was a $500k contract Itera awarded the company while Weldon was lobbying Congress on behalf of the company. Dun dun dun.

Of course, Weldon thinks the raid is politically motivated, since the Bush justice department usually raids Republicans right before the election. Weldon said:

"The person who filed the one complaint against me with the Justice Department, Melanie Sloan, was a key staffer for John Conyers, who stands to become the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee assuming the Democrats win control of the Congress. I think it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this district could swing control of the Congress."

Right. Except the complain was filed over two years ago. She really couldn't have known the Justice Department would investigate Weldon two years-plus later, right. Unless Melanie Sloan is some sort of prophet. Perhaps Weldon could worship her along with Rev. Moon.

Weldon inquiry boils as FBI seizes material [Inquirer]
Weldon Calls Investigation 'Suspicious' [KYW 1060]
Yesterday: Curt Weldon Never Gave His Daughter Anything
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 16, 2006

Curt Weldon Never Gave His Daughter Anything

Noted goofy congressman Curt "Gogolyguk" Weldon had had his daughter's home raided by the FBI this morning, as well as the home of a family friend and four other sites in Philly and Jacksonville.

The congressman is being investigated for possibly improperly helping his daughter's consulting firm win lobbying contracts. (Uh, this is illegal?) Weldon named his outers to -- who else? -- black people don't care about Darfur columnist Steven Morse of the Daily Pennsylvanian. He says that it's Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, as well as former NSA head Sandy Berger.

Of course, this is the same man who said that Osama Bin Laden had secretly died in Iran, so take this with a grain of salt.

Weldon, for his part, says it's a politically-motivated attack, and that his daughter is fine on his own:

"I've never helped my daughter get anything. My kids are qualified on their own," Weldon said.

Curt Weldon never helped his daughter get anything? That asshole.

FBI raids home of congressman's daughter [AP/CNN.com]
Congressman Weldon outs alleged leaker [DP's The Spin]
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 12, 2006

Leftovers: Bill Clinton Slums It

• Bill Clinton hit Bristol's Mill Street yesterday, stumping for democrat Patrick Murphy. He also called Murphy's opponent, Mike Fitzpatrick, a "mangy dog" in a really, really weird metaphor that I can't figure out. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The American Highway Users alliance did a report on the safest cities to evacuate from, and -- surprise! -- Philadelphia got an F, much like almost every other city. (Only Kansas City got an A.) Gee, what shocker. It's hard to evacuate from cities with a million plus people in them. Who knew. [KYW 1060]

• Stop the presses! Dan Savage said something wild! Those alt-weekly editors/sex columnists! Who knew they'd say outrageous things? (Okay, okay, saying Carl Romanelli should be drug behind a car is a little out there.) [DP's The Spin]

• The infamous "Smiling Bank Robber" has been caught after robbing an Upper Darby bank. He said he moved to the suburbs because he had run out of banks to rob in Philadelphia. Guhwha? [KYW 1060]

• Berks County judges and their staffs may soon have to face random drug tests. Ha! [AP/NBC 10]

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October 11, 2006

Weldon To Opponent: 'Gogolyguk!'

Last Friday, noted conspiracy theorist and congressman Curt Weldon debated his Democratic challenger, Joe Sestak. The democrat, an admiral in the Navy, is a political neophyte, while Curt Weldon knows who really orchestrated 9/11, who killed Osama Bin Laden and how the moon landings were faked.

The Evening Bulletin recaps an important part of the debate (emphasis mine):

Sestak accused Rep. Weldon of cutting federal funding for student loans and not fully funding mandates for the No Child Left Behind law.

Weldon called the charge, "gogolyguk," noting that he voted to strip federal subsidies to banks and lending institutions.

Curt Weldon is even more amazing than we all originally thought. Gogolyguk! Gogolyguk, indeed.

Weldon, Sestak Debate Shows Stark Contrast [Bulletin]

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October 09, 2006

Leftovers: Eagles 38, Cowboys 24

• So, the big story this afternoon is that... after losing the biggest game of the year so far... Cowboys wide receiver was upset and yelling! No! Never! [NBC 10]

• All the photos you need from yesterday's Biggest Game To Ever Happen, Ever. [The 700 Level]

• Public service announcement: You have to postmark your voter registration form before tomorrow night. So if you want to choose between Bob Casey and Rick Santorum -- oh, am I excited to make that decision! -- you better get to a state store, post office or library to get a form. [KYW 1060]

• Why is 10-time Congressman -- I like to refer to it as if they were winning something respectable, like a wrestling belt -- Curt Weldon having trouble in his re-election big? Gee, I dunno, I wonder what Curt Weldon could have done to make him unpopular. But, y'know, he does have it on good intelligence that Osama is dead, so you'd better vote for him. [Salon]

• Oh, yeah, and there's a giant hole in Broad Street at Lombard. So, uh, avoid that area.

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August 18, 2006

Is Raj A Cunt Who Called His Opponent A Bitch?

Raj Bhakta, the Apprentice castoff-turned-Congressional candidate, is in a bit of hot water lately. The 13th District hopeful allegedly called his opponent a "liberal bitch." He also allegedly said that he didn't "give a shit about the campaign." (At Byko's annual comedy night, Allyson Schwartz's chief of staff, Daniel McElhatton, joked that the congresswoman "is no liberal." Rimshot!)

Of course, the rumor was told to The Hill by a Democratic staffer, so you have to take it with a grain of salt. Bhakta has also denied the charges:

The Republican called it "worse than outrageous" that The Hill would print something based on the word of an anonymous Democratic staffer. It’s "ludicrous," he said, to suggest he doesn’t care about the campaign. ¶ "Ask the twenty-thousand people I’ve met in the Northeast. Ask the one-hundred people who showed up in Bridesburg for my first emergency crime forum," he said. "Let me tell you something. I’m very serious that the Northeast is going to be destroyed unless someone stands up and says, ‘Stop.’"

Damn, Raj, why you have to play with me like that? If you ran on a campaign of not giving a shit, I'd be your No. 1 supporter. We'd even spell your last name right every once in a while.

Raj: I didn't call her that [Northeast Times]
Archives: Raj Bhakta
Related: Chicago Tribune or George Carlin? [Regret the Error]

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