July 31, 2006

Leftovers: Philly Learns Good

• A new way to get kids in underachieving Philadelphia high schools to pass? Send them to a work-free Saturday school! Money line: "At University City's graduation, about 355 students were listed in the program as graduates - the highest number of graduating seniors in years, according to a teacher who attended. But the program warned that just because a person's name was listed, it didn't mean he had graduated." [Daily News]

• Some advice to coaches who have recently been fired because they were too tough: If there's an article about the dustup in the Inquirer, do not -- I repeat, do NOT -- tell the reporter, "My goal has always been to put on a successful program first, and the kids are second, a close second," regardless of your intentions when you said it, because it makes you look like a jackass. However, you're way ahead in one area: Posting your side of the story on the Internet. If only it was on a blog... [Inquirer]

• The city's leaders met today to discuss ways to end violence. Of course, it was closed-door, which means... well, hey, maybe they are actually committed to ending gun violence! [Inquirer]

• Dick Polman wrote a very nice piece late last week on his blog about the failure of the Bush Administration. Blah blah blah, we already know this, sure, but it's required reading if you're one of those people who haven't regretted your 2000/2004 Bush votes just yet. [Dick Polman's American Debate]

• Money line from Moe Tkacik's NYT piece about interns yesterday, from an American Apparel manager: "[P]eople in their 20’s are living at home or getting their bills paid by their parents and going out and getting wasted like it’s 1995, so hanging out with 15-year-olds is not outside the realm of normal.” You don't know how hard it was to pick just one quote from this thing. [New York Times]

• The good? Chase Utley, 32-game hitting streak. (Screw you, Ed Delahanty!) The bad? Marlins 15, Phillies 2. [AP/Yahoo!]

• Okay, kids, enjoy the rest of your afternoon. More (and better, I swear) shore stuff tomorrow. Stay cool. Maybe ride the bus around with old people?

Posted by D-Mac at 04:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Leggo My Sluggo

I go on assignment for two days and what happens? I miss the greatest letter to the editor in the history of letters to the editor.

Here's the letter, in full:

We are outraged by the July 20 "Nancy" comic strip.

By making light of Nancy beating Sluggo to a pulp in a jealous rage, the strip trivializes relationship abuse and suggests that violence is an acceptable way to resolve personal disputes.

Domestic violence should not be a punch line for a cheap joke. You and the strip's authors owe your readers an apology.

Judy Kahan, Chief Executive Officer
Center Against Domestic Violence Brooklyn, N.Y.

After the jump, some thoughts.

Here's the strip in question. Let's have a look at it:

And now, the first [x] questions that came into my mind after reading the letter and the strip, where [x] is a number between 1 and the time when I run out of jokes (1 ≤ x ≤ t):

• Wait. The Daily News runs Nancy?
• Wait. The Daily News runs Nancy and people actually read it?
• Hold up. Sluggo is Nancy's boyfriend? Aren't they always fighting? (Okay, clearly, they are.)
• Shit. Did I just reveal that I've read Nancy before?
• Let's go back for a second. Is the entire Center Against Domestic Violence actually outraged by a Nancy strip? Is that even possible?
• This was the Daily News' "Rant of the Week." Should a letter that was sent to all the papers that run Nancy (presumably) really be qualified for such a prestigious honor?
• Wait. Is the Daily News the only paper in the world that runs Nancy?
• You know, I know how the media influences how we think and blah blah blah. But could anyone, anywhere, ever read this Nancy strip and think that violence was the answer in a relationship?
• What could Judy Kahan, CEO of the Center Against Domestic Violence in Brooklyn, N.Y., have been doing instead of being outraged about a Nancy strip and writing this letter?
• That being said, if domestic violence isn't funny and Nancy is never funny, then does this particular Nancy strip enter into some sort of black hole of unfunniness in which no humor can escape? Did it affect the other comics that day?
• Wait. You fool! You can use this to get Nancy out of the Daily News forever, to be replaced by a funnier comic, such as [insert any comic title here].

Gotcha! I kept going, even after I ran out of jokes.

Letters | Hands off sluggo! [Daily News]
Nancy, July 20, 2006 [Comics.com]
Related: Five Card Nancy

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Sixers For Sale?

The Boston Globe had this interesting item buried deep within an NBA notes column yesterday. It said, in essence, Comcast was going to sell the Sixers almost imminently. Then it contained this sentence: "The Sixers' announced attendance was down about 7.5 percent last season and the Allen Iverson-Chris Webber marriage seems to be working about as well as the Julia Roberts-Lyle Lovett union did."

Okay, so that sentence should make you less likely to trust the article. But the Comcast Spectacor brass just issued a non-denial denial: "We receive expressions of interest from time to time.... we're not actively selling the team."

Which means... hey, maybe the team is for sale. Joe Juliano notes all the Sixers' recent problems in an article in today's Inquirer, but notes that the team is worth upwards of $351 million, according to Forbes.

It'd seem a little strange for Comcast to deal the 76ers, since they also own the Flyers and the stadium both teams play in. And, yeah, the attendance is dropping, but just five years ago the team had the highest attendance it ever had.

Still, there's one nagging question that makes us think this report is just a bit off: Who in their right minds would want to buy the 76ers?

For sale: Philadelphia 76ers [Boston Globe, 2nd item]
Executive: Sixers not for sale [Inquirer]

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Down The Shore: Wildwood Finally Hits 1995

Headline in last week's Press of Atlantic City shore guide:

Don't laugh; this actually makes sense. Wildwood just stopped playing "Rhythm is a Dancer" last summer. Getting to Live was a logical next step.

Live brings new era of uplifting rock to Wildwood [Press of AC]

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Suburbanites Are Cul-De-Suckers

The Bucks County Courier Times today fills us all in on the number one problem facing America today. That is, of course, cul-de-sacs.

For those who don't know, a cul-de-sac is the highly sensitive area behind the cervix that can cause female orgasm. No, wait! Wrong cul-de-sac! A cul-de-sac, at least for purposes of this article, is a suburban street (usually in a development) that separates has no outlet. Its purpose is to cut down traffic on residential streets.

Apparently, though, in recent years the cul-de-sac has become a menace, with New Urbanists (whoever they are) saying that the cul-de-sac actually increases traffic in suburban areas! Not on the cul-de-sac, of course, but on other roads in the area. Essentially, the anti-cul-de-sac movement is all part of the suburban backlash of the past 10 years or so.

Still, though, those New Urbanists can get pretty nasty:

Here and across the country, some municipalities have limited or banned cul-de-sacs altogether in favor of streets laid out in more orderly grids. And many urban planners view the suburban dead-end streets with a scorn usually reserved for, say, foot fungus.

“Cul-de-suck” is just one derisive nickname.

Just one? Oh, please, Courier Times, we demand a full list!

Are cul-de-sacs more of a nuisance than a benefit? [Bucks County Courier Times]

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Your Heat Wave Update

Here's a wrap-up of heat wave coverage from our oh-so-fine local media outlets.

• Today, it's supposed to hit 96 degrees, according to a weather-obsessed station that shall remain nameless. My widget says it's currently 87. [NBC 10]

• Cheer up, Center City office workers! Although you're in long pants today -- well, most likely -- it's not all bad. While food trucks are still in operation despite 130 degree heat inside them, the horse-n-buggies are not, possibly saving you about 15 seconds on the car ride home. [KYW 1060]

• Tip from CBS 3: Do not leave older people, children, or pets alone in cars. This, however, is okay during all other times of the year. [CBS 3]

• Meanwhile, Action News reports that Philadelphia's Heatline workers have "sound advice", such as "opening windows if your home does not have air conditioning." [6 ABC]

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Gun Violence Problem? Solved!

This, however, is my favorite part: The shop that was closed, Lou's Loans, sold a gun that somehow ended up in the hands of "a person involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing," says the AP. Glad they were right on top of this one.

Government Revokes License Of Upper Darby Gun Shop [AP/CBS 3]

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Are Ex-Phillies Killer?

Every time somebody gets traded out of Philadelphia, everyone thinks the same thing: Oh, now he's going to be awesome. And with the recent flurry of trades the Phillies have made so far this year -- including another one today that shipped Rheal Cormier to the Reds -- we figured it'd be nice to look at how the ex-Phillies do the rest of the season. Not that it will prove anything, but we think it'll be a fun experiment. For hitters, we'll track average, RBI, homers and OPS over the rest of the season. (Click here for an explanation of OPS, on-base percentage plus slugging.) For pitchers, appearances or starts, win-loss record and ERA. And we'll make fun of Rheal Cormier when the Reds realize he lets every inherited runner score.

Below, a table of who's been traded, and how they've done:

Player	With Phillies	Since Trade
Sal Fasano	.243 AVG, 10 RBI, 4 HR, .701 OPS	.200 AVG, 0 RBI, 0 HR, .400 OPS
David Bell	.278 AVG, 34 RBI, 6 HR, .743 OPS	.143 AVG, 0 RBI, 0 HR, .536 OPS
Bobby Abreu	.277 AVG, 65 RBI, 8 HR, .861 OPS	TK
Cory Lidle	21 GS, 8-7, 4.74 ERA	TK
Rheal Cormier	43 APP, 2-2, 1.59 ERA	TK

Check back in each and every day to see how well these ex-Phillies are doing! (We'll be changing "With Phillies" to "Last Night" after this first post.) And, hey, more could be added...

Phils deal Cormier to Reds for Germano [AP/ESPN.com]

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Down The Shore: A Whale Of A Time!

Late last week, a group of beachgoers were sitting around, minding their own business in Sea Isle City, when they spotted a pair of whales on the beach. So the beachgoers decided to form a chain and push, push, push the whales back into the ocean.

This is quite a feat. When I'm on the beach, I don't want to get up for anything that doesn't involve me immediately getting back on the towel and going to sleep. But apparently people in Sea Isle are good people, and so a group of about 20 of them rolled two whales (a baby, which was easy, and a mother, which took extra support) back into the ocean.

There's been no sight of the whales since we humans pushed our fellow mammal back into the ocean, but Mitch Myers, who helped rescue the whale, knows what he'll remember:

"That's the biggest mammal I've ever touched,” said Myers.

Just in case you thought he had touched a larger whale.

Beached whales in Sea Isle City returned to the water [Press of Atlantic City]
Photo via 6 ABC

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Sexy Singles Love Their Phillies, Uh, Pitchers

Today is the Daily News annual "Sexy Singles" competition, celebrating the sexiest friends of Daily News reporter Jenice Armstrong, as well as a few media people. (Co-host of 10! show? Check. Co-host of Good Day Philadelphia? Check.)

This year, it's been split up into two days, with the men tomorrow -- oh, we are excited -- and the women today. There's not much of note in the list of sexy singles. None of them are particularly bad-looking, only one nominated herself for the award. The DN web staff apparently didn't think we'd be interested in seeing photos of sexy singles, so you'll have to buy the paper to see the damage. But this did catch our eye (italics ours):

Lindsay Megraw

Age: 29
Job: Nanny.
Marital status: Single.
Neighborhood: West Chester.
Number of children: None. [...]
Secretly lusts for: Phillies pitcher Pat Burrell.

I believe that's what we call a swing and a miss.

Update, 2:38 p.m.: Since this has been posted, (1) the incorrect position for Pat Burrell has been fixed and (2) photos have been uploaded. Huzzah.

Sexy & Single [Daily News]
LF Pat Burrell [Phillies.com]

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Abridged 'Daily News' Columnists

John Baer: Ohh! More cops could prevent shootings!

Stu Bykofsky: There's too much weather coverage on local news, bitches!

Urban Warrior Chris Brennan: The closed portion of Locust Street in the Gayborhood is a nightmare for traffic and local businesses, but also "the cranes and fencing provide cover that serves as a lure for some of the neighborhood's persistent problems - drug dealing, prostitution and hustling." Look out! Hustlers!

Posted by D-Mac at 09:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Down The Shore: You, Too, Can Be A Hooters Girl

Let's start with the easy one: The current cover story in Atlantic City Weekly.

It's a story about the Miss Deckadence contest, held weekly at The Deck at Trump Marina. It used to be called the Miss Hawaiian Tropic pageant, but it wasn't drawing enough people. So Trump Marina got Hooters involved and -- naturally -- we have a huge success, ladies and gentlemen.

The girls at the Miss Deckadence contest takes place every Friday, and the top three girls each week advance to the finals on Labor Day weekend, where they'll compete for the grand prize. But that's not all! Each and every week, the girls competing can win the job of a lifetime:

Usually about two or three of the 12-15 average are non-Hooters employees, according to Hooters promotions manager Kathy Walls, and some are occasionally asked to join the company's workforce if they possess the right apparatus.

“If a contestant who is not a Hooters girl is competing and meets all the right criteria, we might ask her to fill out an application,” says Walls. “We make our own schedules at Hooters, so if there's a girl who might want to join us and pick up a few extra hours and some extra money, this could be a good opportunity for her. It's an excellent company with a lot of room for advancement."

The dream is still alive. Enter a contest and, presto, you're a Hooters girl.

Meet the Misses [Atlantic City]

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Breaking: Bus Crashes Into House

Posted by D-Mac at 09:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Philadelphia Will Do Goes Down The Shore!

With the heat approaching triple digits all week, there's only one cure. That's right: We're going down the shore. Well, not literally, but this week is Philadelphia Will Do's Down The Shore!

All week, in addition to our usual diet of puppies and Daily News columnists, we'll be regurgitating all we know about the shore all week! We'll be pretty much staying south of Atlantic City and doing our usual game -- i.e. news items, puppies on the beach, etc. -- although we'll do some general rambling about our favorite (and least favorite) things at the shore, too.

And, yes, if you're wondering, we're going to be making fun of the media at the shore resorts, too. You thought we wouldn't?

Stay tuned all week -- and you can pretend you're down there.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Phillies Weekend Wrap-Up

Know when it's great to be a baseball fan? When your favorite team trades your favorite player and gets nothing in return. And the Phillies traded Bobby Abreu, too!

Seriously, the Phillies just traded away the man who's been their best player over the last nine years and managed to make a worse deal than the Rolen and Schilling deals. No time for tears, though; let's take a look at yesterday's goodbye:

Whoo! Yay Bobby! Oh... Cory Lidle... yeah, you can come up for a curtain call, too, sure.

Some more Phillies thoughts after the jump.

• It's amazing that the Phillies were able to trade David Bell and get worse at third base. Yes, the Fightins are now playing our root-for-him-to-fail boy Abraham Nuñez at third base. On the plus side, maybe he really can have the worst season ever, now.
• Here's some good news: The Phillies designated Ryan Franklin for assignment. Even though we feel that Franklin is the worst player to ever use steroids, we will say that it was a little strange that he was signed to be a starter in the offseason and never started a game, despite playing on a team with the worst starters in the league. But, hey, it's the Phillies!
• Despite trading away Bell and Abreu, the Phillies are now on a tear, having won 5 of 6 and swept a doubleheader yesterday. They've scored 32 runs in the past three games. If the Phillies were going to make a miracle run for the Wild Card, it'd definitely only happen after they packed it in.
• For the second straight season, the Phillies have a hitting streak. Chase Utley has hit in 31 straight games. Are the Phillies the first team to have 30-game hitting streaks in back-to-back seasons? No idea! But that seems pretty likely.

More trades? Definitely Coming. Rheal Cormier or Arthur Rhodes could go. Pat Burrell is probably staying. And the Phillies will probably get another single-A second baseman for Franklin.

And, finally: GM Pat Gillick finally gets it, saying the Phillies won't contend in 2007. Hey, that's what all the fans were thinking! I wonder if Pat expects the same failure we do in 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011...

Later today, we'll be starting our ex-Phillie watch, which will be running the rest of the season. Think Philadelphia athletes only do well once they leave town? We'll test it this year. Even for Sal Fasano!

Posted by D-Mac at 08:16 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 27, 2006

Early Weekend

Yeah, that's not a lie. I am working on other PW stuff for the next two days and will not be blogging. There's a big list of links on the side over there, and you can visit any of those sites for your entertainment at work. Next week is going to be, uh, a "special" week here, and I'll fill youse in on the details sometime in the next few days.

Posted by D-Mac at 09:51 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

The Nadir Of Barbaro Love

You may know that I've been kind of baffled by the whole "America Loves Barbaro" thing. Y'know, alright, I see why we don't want him to die, but, uhh, he's a horse. (And a horse who didn't even win as many Triple Crown races as Smarty Jones or Afleet Alex.)

But, okay, I can live with it. Hooray for Barbaro. But what I can't live with is what a reader sent to me late last night: Barbaro erotic fan fiction. (Absolutely not safe for work, or really for any human being.) Yes, a reader sent me a story titled "Saving Barbaro's Semen," that was apparently uploaded to a sex stories archive website.

Wait, let's back up here: Someone wrote erotic fiction about a woman having sex with Barbaro. And, in the end of the story, Barbaro dies. Someone actually spent time writing this. And then thought people might get turned on by it. About not only a woman having sex with a horse, but about a woman having sex with Barbaro. And then the woman tells Barbaro he's the best lover she's ever had. And then Barbaro dies.

I pretty much think anyone should be able to do anything they sort of ever want, but... NO. Not erotic fan fiction about Barbaro. I support a constitutional amendment banning it. If aliens ever come to earth, they're going to read this story and destroy the earth. Effing Barbaro. He's going to indirectly cause the death of billions of people.

I can't take this. Enough. I'm taking off the rest of the week. Seriously. You can blame Barbaro.

Saving Barbaro's Semen (Not Safe For Anyone, Anywhere, Ever) [asstr.org]
Archives: Barbaro

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July 26, 2006

Leftovers: Goodbye, Olympic Bid

• Breaking: Philly dropped from Olympic contention. Shocker, we know. Houston also dropped. Details TK. Update: Here are the aforementioned details from KYW 1060 and the Inky.

• Philly Future says that if they're sold, they'll be sharing the profits with you, the user! They also say "Driving an Hyundai like myself bub?" Ahh, yes, I can see the venture capitalists lining up to buy Philly Future any day now, and with Karl sharing the dough, Her Alter Ego will have enough bolding and capital letters to last a lifetime. [Philly Future]

• The New York Times loves City Hall! Add it to the list of things that the NYT hearts about Philly -- that's hipsters, the Liberty Bell, the Art Museum, Pat's Steaks (probably), etc. -- STAT! (Related: A very angry comment on Phillyist.) [NYT]

• The head of the prison guards' union agrees with the lawsuit filed that claims poor conditions in Philly's jails. So you know it's bad. [Metro]

• Oh, and that stripper with the human hand in a jar? She skipped her court date today. Why are we (and the Daily News, and 50 other local blogs) writing about this even though it's not really anywhere near Philly? Oh, right: She's a stripper with a human hand in a jar. [AP/Philly.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Would The Inquirer Building Go Condo?

Steve Volk reports on philadelphiaweekly.com about the a recent Joe Natoli memo which featured, Q&A-style, this exchange:

Q: I heard something about our downtown building being for sale. Is that true?

A: No, but that’s under review. Our building is under-utilized. Options include leasing open space to others, selling the building in a sale/lease-back (which would generate cash to pay down debt, without requiring a move), or selling the building and leasing space in another facility. The issue is how best to realize the value of our real estate. That’s made more interesting by the school board’s recent move to North Broad Street, CBS’s plans to become our neighbor and the Governor’s proposed sale of the state office building just north of us. A decision on the building is probably months away. Having said that, we would always expect to maintain a significant presence in Philadelphia.

Natoli tells Volk that the Inquirer isn't moving to the suburbs, even if that's what one could infer from this memo. You can read the whole story and memo here.

Inquirer/Daily News Considering Move to the ’Burbs? [PW]

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Website Finally Finds Words To Explain Phanatic's Greatness

From MLBMascots.com:

The Phanatic is at his mischievous best while riding on his all-terrain vehicle before the game. He even tries to knock off the players of the opposing team to give the home team any advantage. He participates in scoffing and hooting at the opposing team along with the fans. In the crowd he is up to any mischief. He may awkwardly a tub of popcorn, steal your girlfriend, buff a bald head or just sit down and watch the game with you - from your lap.

Truer words were never written.

Phillie Phanatic [MLBMascots.com]

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Blogicized: Goodbye, Fu Manchu

• Philebrity points out the thing we forgot about Sal Fasano's impending move to the Yankees: He has to shave his mustache and cut his hair, per George Steinbrenner's no-facial hair rule/no-long hair rule. Gasp! The implications of this on Sal's Pals can not be overstated. [Philebrity]

• More Phillies news: Is the fans' love affair with Aaron Rowand already waning? If balls keep flying over his head... maybe. [Swing and a Miss]

• That Olympics press conference is today at 4:30 p.m., where Philadelphians will learn if our Olympic bid is dead before it officially began. [Politics Philly]

• And Greenadelphia! is a new blog, apparently about, uh, Philly's green environmental issues. [Greenadelphia]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:52 PM | Comments (67) | TrackBack

'Daily News' Discovers, 'Hey, People Yell At The Movie Theater!'

From a column by Patty-Pat Kozlowski today:

But for a contemporary film, [An American Haunting] was relatively clean. Not one obscenity is uttered by the actors - or even the demon. But the night I saw it at the $4 Tuesday movie night, I was treated to an extremely annoying phenomenon - new dialogue dubbed in from the audience.

There was Sissy Spacek telling hubby Donald Sutherland that his "mother-f*^%&*% ass better grab his mother-f*%$&#@ gun and put a cap in that demon's mother-f&%^*$# a--" so it will stop terrorizing his family.

Donald Sutherland then adlibs back, "B----, you better shut your m-f mouth before I b-----slap you across the farm!" All this dialogue was compliments of the row behind me. [...]

The couple in front of us watched the entire movie while talking or text messaging. The girl gave a play-by-play to whoever called her.

I'm sorry, but the only time you answer your cell during a movie is if you're on the waiting list for an organ and a kidney becomes available. Twenty-eight kidneys must have been available because that's how many phones rang and were answered. [...]

The two brothers then put on a karate exhibit in the front row. So as we're trying to watch the Bell family exorcise the demon, these two are kicking and wrestling in front of the screen (which I admit was more entertaining than the movie itself).

The only time the mother got up was to scream at her infant for crying before she put a bottle in the baby's mouth to shush it.

No @&*!^# way! Next they'll tell us that some drivers cut other ones off in traffic!

Horror show at the cheapo movie [Daily News]

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Breaking: Sal Finds New Pals

So, get this, right? The Phillies were actually able to get something for Sal Fasano. And not just a bushel of baseballs, a tub of mustache wax or some yellow paint for the foul poles.

Yes, the Fightins traded the recently DFA'ed catcher to the Yankees (the Yankees?) for single-A second baseman Hector Made. There is much rejoicing on the Myspace page of Sal's Pals, including this comment from Phillies Nation:

Yankee pinstripes will make Sal look skinny.

Indeed they will. Best of luck to Sal and all his pals.

Phillies trade Fasano to Yankees [Wilmington News-Journal]
Sal's Pals [Myspace]
Monday: Farewell Sal, We Knew Thee Well

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'Metro' Looking For Hip 17-Year-Old, Just-Dumped-By-His-Girlfriend Demographic

There's an article about emo -- the music and the fasion! -- in today's Metro. I really can't improve on its unintentional comedy, so let's just take a few choice bits:

If punk is riotous and rock is rebellious, then emo is raucous and romantic. Emo music, short for emotional, is a blend of melancholy lyrics over a post-punk beat — basically, mix the staccato screams of punk with morose musings, and you have some idea why bands like Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessional and Jimmy Eat World still top the charts.

Emo is androgynous.

Most notable are the excruciatingly tight jeans. Just as the punks have S&M straps and ravers have oversized phat pants, emo scenesters have diminutive denim. The look leaves nothing to the imagination, as guys often squeeze into girl’s jeans, usually sans underwear.

“Lots of girls think the look is sexy,” remarks [Ryan] Albanese.

Add a facial piercing, a button-up striped shirt several sizes too small over an ironic graphic tee, a wallet chain, horn-rimmed nerdy glasses, argyle socks, Converse All-Star Low Tops and you have bona-fide emo style. Of course, the looks are varied and individual, with the more creative types scouring thrift stores, and the more capitalist types spending money on brands such as Tripp and Salvage.

Hey, guys? You forgot blogs on Xanga, white belts and cutting yourself! Geeze.

Emo demo: Tight jeans and messy hair define this music-inspired look [Metro]
Drawing by Ikiroid, licensed via Creative Commons

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Maybe He Just Gave Bad Directions

The first item in The Intelligencer's crime log today:

Man shot by motorist who asked for directions: A 25-year-old township man was shot in the upper back at about 1:13 a.m. Tuesday by a man he said asked for directions and then jumped out of a purple vehicle and started shooting at him. Police said the man was walking near Susquehanna and Bradfield roads in the township's Roslyn section when he was shot. He suffered a collapsed lung but is in stable condition and doctors say he will make a full recovery, police said. He had recently moved to the township from Philadelphia.

Thought you could escape that gun violence by moving out of Philadelphia, eh? Well, welcome to Abington!

Police news - 7/26/06 [Doylestown Intelligencer]

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And You Thought The Ducks Were Annoying

KYW 1060 reports this morning of a new tourist attraction in Philadelphia: The Superbike.

Superbikes are run by the same people who run Super Ducks, and owner Alfred Krawitz said the Superbike is "a bicycle that holds seven passengers. One person drives it. It has a hydraulic braking system. It has a Porsche front end."

City officials aren't quite sure about the safety of these so-called "super" bicycles, but they're not covered any city motor vehicle codes, so Krawitz went ahead and started selling rides on it. Councilman Frank DiCicco, naturally, wants to confiscate the bikes, perhaps so he can ride constituents around his district on them.

But, for now, Superbikes are here to stay. However, we do have a reprieve from at least one of the duck boats for a little while, as the article notes:

Meanwhile, the National Park Service has suspended Krawitz’s Superducks for seven days for aggressive solicitation.

Praise you, National Park Service.

Controversy Over New Super Bikes [KYW 1060]
Related: Stop The Duck

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The Gross Backlash Begins!

A letter in today's Daily News:

WITH THE RECENT sale of Philadelphia's two major newspapers, I had high hopes that the level of journalism in this city might once again rise to the proud standards of the past. ¶ After reading Dan Gross' column on July 20, I believe we have actually scraped the bottom of the proverbial barrel. His lead item dealt with a local traffic reporter, John Ogden, who along with two roommates, owed a $130 water bill. There was no news value in this muckraking piece of garbage.

And, this time, it's not even from Ogden's mother!

Editor's Note: Would that be the high journalistic standards of noted blackmailer and Inquirer reporter Harry Karafin?

Letters | OK, TIME TO LET THE CRITICS HAVE THEIR SAY [Daily News]
Shakedown! [CJR]
July 20: TV News Salary Can't Stop Apartment Eviction; Gross Moves In For The Kill

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A Hall Of Fame Game For Phils

Now that the Phillies might as well be done this season, it's time to resurrect the late summer tradition of laughing at the Fightin' Phils' misfortunes. (At least those that don't involve punching a woman in the face.) You see, the past few seasons, the Philies were actually in the playoff race -- shocking! -- and we were all cheering on the Phillies to actually win, in the hopes of seeing the local nine play some baseball in October.

This year, though, the Phils are in fourth place in the NL East, behind even the Marlins, whose players make about as much as professional bloggers. So, piggybacking on the idea to root for Abraham Nuñez to have the worst season ever -- he went 0-for-1 last night -- we must all celebrate Ryan Madson's accomplishment. In the third inning of the Phils 6-5 loss to the Diamondbacks yesterday, Madson joined an elite group:

That marked the fourth run the overworked Phillies bullpen gave up last night in support of Ryan Madson, who tied a major league record with four wild pitches in the third inning - the best of a slew of miscues on a night made for circus music, led, as usual, by poor pitching. [...]

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Madson joined Hall of Famers Walter Johnson, of the Washington Senators, who threw four on Sept. 21, 1914, and Phil Niekro, of the Atlanta Braves, who did it on Aug. 4, 1979. Kevin Gregg, of the Anaheim Angels, did it on July 25, 2004. With his 6.18 earned run average this season, Madson resembles Gregg more than the other two wild things.

Congratulations, Ryan! You made history!

The only shocking thing: A Phillie didn't own this record already.

MLB Standings [Yahoo!]
Pretty ugly in every sense of the word [Daily News]
July 20: Root, Root, Root For The Home Team (To Fail)

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Abridged 'Daily News' Columnists

Jill Porter: A word to the wise: If you overdraw your bank account, don't lend a friend your car. Or something like that.

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Stripper's A Regular Warhol, Dahmer

An exotic dancer in New Jersey -- who, naturally, does her stripping at a nude juice bar -- has been arrested after police found a hand in a mason jar and six human skulls in her home.

Police went to her house to investigate a suicide attempt Friday. They found no suicide victim, but they did find the hand and skulls, and arrested Linda Kay for "improper disposition of human remains."

She, however, says her collection of skulls and the hand -- which she calls "Freddie" -- is simply her strange taste in artwork. Her mother said she got the skulls from a mail order catalog or over the Internet. (Amazon.com is branching out!)

The laywer for Hott 22, the juice bar she strips at, defended her art collection:

"Hott 22 does not knowingly hire mass murderers."

[Ira] Weiner said Kay is "artistic, but not vicious. I believe that's why she collected those items. Other people might take issue with her tastes. I know I do.

"But look at Andy Warhol. He painted soup cans."

Warhol painted hands in mason jars, too. One of his lesser-known works.

She got a hand [Daily News]

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Depressing Headline Of The Day

Oh, goodie. But... maybe this effort should have been going on all along? Or is that just crazy talk?

New effort to stop guns at schools [Inquirer]

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July 25, 2006

Leftovers: Too Fat To Know Why You're Fat

• America's obesity epidemic has hit new heights, as many people are now are too fat for diagnostic imaging exams to work. Wait... Diagnostic? Are we cars now? Well, we weigh almost as much. Ba-ZING! [HealthDayNews/Yahoo!]

• The South Jersey town of Riverside is planning on imposing a $1,000 fine on anyone who employs or houses illegal immigrants. Apparently, Brazilians have moved into the Jersey shore (Editor's Note: Whoops!) town. Ahh, yes! Soon they'll be renaming the town Lado del Río! [Inquirer]

• A clever thief has come up with a new way to steal things: From unlocked cars. Yes, children, it's 2006, you should probably lock your car doors no matter where you are nowadays. [Inquirer]

• And, finally, Eagles training camp is new and improved -- now with pads! [Philly.com]

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The First Philly.com Comment Ever That Gets It Right

While we're on the subject of comments to stories on Philly.com, you should probably also take a look at the comments to the Boy Scout eviction article. Most of them are what you'd expect, with the added bonus of people saying that John Street can't do this because there are people in the city dying. Because the mayor can only concentrate on one issue at a time, people. (Hmm. What if he can? Let's get back to you on this one.)

We'd like to point out, however, the best comment about the whole situation:

Well played, "Slim." Well played.

Comments: Scouts will fight for use of building [Philly.com]

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City Sued, Already Gives Up

Not content to be sued once for poor conditions in prisons, the City of Philadelphia was sued again yesterday for conditions in prisons by Penn law prof David Rudofsky.

The city was sued in 1971 for prison conditions and in 1982 for overcrowding in prisons. The city's prison population is currently at 8,799 -- about 1,000 "beyond the rated capacity" of the city's prisons.

Usually when a lawsuit is filed, the defendants will give a no-comment, will defend themselves and so forth. But perhaps even the city realizes that no beds and no showers is a bit much:

Mayor Street will chair a meeting with representatives from the city courts and the district attorney's office in the coming weeks, Diaz said.

The lawsuit, he said, is an "opportunity" to work with the criminal-justice community and the plaintiffs on a "comprehensive solution."

Meanwhile, William DiMascio, executive director of the Pennsylvania Prison Society, said in a statement yesterday that the city prisons are in "complete disarray," and he urged all the players in the criminal-justice system to meet in an "emergency summit."

While the players plan for that "emergency summit" -- don't hold your breath -- be sure to check out the comment board for Philly.com, which has turned into repeated suggestions of the death penalty for non-violent crimes and a debate on whether marijuana should be legalized.

City again sued over prison crowding [Daily News]
Comments: City again sued over prison crowding [Philly.com]

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'Daily News' Staffers Looking For New Revenue Streams

A faithful reader directed me to page 91 of yesterday's Daily News, which was seemingly a full page of ads for strip clubs, porn movies and the like (click to enlarge):

Yep, that's a house ad for Rich Hofmann up there in the corner. Not only will he give you the full girlfriend experience, but he'll write a column about the Eagles afterward, too!

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Swan Song For Philly Olympic Bid?

Later today, Philadelphia could learn that it has been eliminated from contention for the Olympic Games. Or, it could learn it's still alive.

Count on the latter. Chicago appears to be the frontrunner, even though the centerpiece of its bid -- the Olympic Village -- is in the shadow of (New) Soldier Field, the ugliest, most embarrassing building in history.

Reportedly, one city has already been cut. No word on, uh, when the press conference is -- we could have missed it already! -- but we'll keep youse updated on if Philly's longshot bid is staying alive for another day.

U.S. Olympic Committee Narrows List Of Cities [CBS 3 Chicago]
Philly Gets Update On Olympics Today [NBC 10]

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Prime Piece Of Real Estate To Be Gay-Free No More

Yesterday, the Fairmount Park Commission voted and agreed with the Street Administration's decision to force the Boy Scouts to pay market value rent for their building or be evicted.

Currently, the city gives the Boy Scouts Cradle of Liberty Council free use of the building, which the council built as its headquarters in 1928. The Scouts, of course, can allow whoever they want into their group, but if they're not going to let in gays, then the city doesn't want to give them free rent -- as it doesn't jive with the city's nondiscrimination policy.

While the Cradle of Liberty Council did agree to nondiscrimination policy, soon after they adopted it the group kicked out an 18-year-old Eagle Scout who came out. The city said, "Hey, I thought we had a deal," and so last week finally sent a letter to the Council notifying the group of its decision.

A spokesman for the national organization said that "[t]he policy isn't going anywhere," affirming his group's duties to God, country and queer-hatin'. Council spokesman Jeff Jubelirer said he wasn't aware of any Fairmount Park Commission vote taking place yesterday, and wondered why LGBT advocates were there and knew about it.

Fo his part, City Solicitor Romulo Diaz says the city doesn't want to evict the scouts, which I think is a tremendously short-sighted way of thinking. Uhh, hello, 22nd and Winter streets? That's prime real estate, right off Logan Circle! If the city's not interested in getting a piece of that action, they clearly don't have their heads screwed on right.

Scouts will fight for use of building [Inquirer]
Parks vote agrees on Scouts [Daily News]
Yesterday: Pretty Gay Group To Be Evicted For Anti-Gay Stance

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Urban Warrior Title Now Good Enough For First Reference

When Carla Anderson left the paper a while back, Daily News reporter Chris Brennan took over the "Urban Warrior" title -- I'm sure there was some sort of coronation ceremony -- and began writing the column for the paper.

And here are some excerpts from a letter in today's Daily News, regarding a column he wrote last week:

IN HIS JULY 17 column, Urban Warrior ignored the facts in his zeal to take shots at the Redevelopment Authority (RDA). [...]

The authority did the right thing for the community and is dealing fairly with the church, although your readers wouldn't know it from reading Warrior's slanted diatribe.

Oh, that Warrior! What will he do next?

RDA responds to Urban Warrior column [Daily News]

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Slow News Day, Pt. 2

You would think there's a lot going on today, with the war in the Middle East, the other war in the Middle East, the Iraqi PM at the White House, the fires in California. But, no, it's a slow July news day. Piggybacking on what we saw earlier, here's the top story on Yahoo! right now:

Ahh, yes.

Is this man a time traveler? [Yahoo!]
Earlier: Avoid The Floyd

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Abridged 'Daily News' Columnists

Ronnie Polaneczky: When Eagles tickets are involved, forgery is most certainly legal.

Elmer Smith: I'm competing with Will Bunch in a contest to see who hates Republicans more.

Mark Alan Hughes: If Michael Nutter wants to be mayor, he better read my column.

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Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

A crime noted in today's Bucks County Courier Times:

* 40 block Dolton Rd., Feasterville, multiple "Stop Colonial Nissan" signs dumped on property.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is the first crime ever involving signs that say "Stop Colonial Nissan." Just a hunch.

Public Safety Log 7/25/06 [Bucks County Courier Times]
Residents protest dealership's expansion plan [BCCT/MSNBC.com]

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Avoid The Floyd

It's official, boys and girls: Slowest news day ever.

In search of Floyds [Daily News]

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July 24, 2006

Money Can't Buy Me Love

It's almost as if depression is a mental illness unrelated to how much money one has! Who knew!

Having Too Much [6 ABC]

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Blogicized: Great Discoveries Of The Internet

• Metroblogging discovers that unpopular movies released over a month ago are sometimes removed from theaters! [Metroblogging]

• Phillyist discovers that some people are rude! On the Internet! [Phillyist]

• Fiftyone:Fiftyone discovers that you can get 1,000 people into Transit on two days' notice, provided Hollertronix is there. [Fiftyone:Fifty