April 26, 2006

Special Delivery!

There are no state laws against delivering pizza and dead bodies in the same vehicle.

And why should there be? Who's going to... Oh, right. Okay, so a Philadelphia man (naturally) was fired from his pizza delivery job in Feasterville, Bucks County (naturally) because, when he wasn't delivering pizzas, he was delivering dead bodies.

He didn't tell his boss this, but he happened to be pulled over by a police officer for an expired inspection sticker. The cop noticed the trash and gurney in the back -- no, he wasn't delivering both pizza and bodies at the same time -- and asked him what he was doing:

Lower Southampton Officer Robert Freedman stopped the Buick for an expired inspection sticker about 3 p.m. Friday, while Bethel was in the middle of his third or fourth Domino's delivery. According to his report, Freedman ran a check of the vehicle and found out that Bethel was driving with a suspended license.

Noticing the gurney and a bag of trash and wet clothing in the same area in the front where the pizzas had been placed, Freedman questioned Bethel about the items, the report said.

Bethel said that when he wasn't delivering pizzas for Domino's, he was transporting bodies in the same vehicle, Freedman's report said.

Police impounded the Buick and left the pizzas and sodas alone.

Wait, it gets better. If being fired wasn't bad enough for William Bethel, he then gets made fun of by his mom at the end of the article:

Bethel's mom, Toni Kijak, who used to transport live people for her own limousine service, burst out laughing as she read the police report about her son.

“This whole thing is ludicrous,” she said. “You were wrong, Billy, driving a car with no inspection.”

“Go ahead, Mom, laugh it up,” he responded.

Bethel, of course, wants to be a mortician.

I give up. I can't write any jokes that can top this actual story. Well, okay, a reader sent in this one: What if he got the deliveries mixed up? Well, kids, let's just open our pizza and AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Double deliveries draw attention [Bucks County Courier Times]
Photo by B.J. Winslow Props, which rents this thing. Awesome.

Posted by D-Mac on April 26, 2006 12:55 PM
Posted to Bucks County , Dead Bodies , Pizza

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