March 06, 2006
Herb Denenberg, art critic
Today's Evening Bulletin contains a headline that says "Yale Jihad," which is enough hilarity in a newspaper for one day. But although the paper could have stopped there, it also ran the daily Herb Denenberg column, in which Herb features himself as an art critic -- and not just an art critic, but the art critic.
Not only does Herb know the best art in the world, he also knows that his opinion is the only correct one. After all, Herb is an expert on how squirrels get into attics, the number of items carried in supermarkets and why doctors are awful. He clearly knows everything about everything, and so why should art be any different?
The reason for Herb's attack on modern art? Marcel Duchamp's urinal was recently named the most influential modern art piece of all time. And, obviously, that's a little silly, although the fact some guy got a urinal he signed to be considered art is kind of an art in itself. (Woah.) Of course, it's just a list, and it's one of those "most influential" lists, so you don't need to really analyze on quality, just on reach, so you get a free pass.
But while I simply would move on at this point, Herb has an idea:
I plan on becoming the next great an influential genius of modern art. I'm going to take a toilet, paint my name and a date on it and donate it to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. I will request that it be placed near the Duchamp urinal. I figure if a urinal can become the most influential piece of modern art to date, a toilet will be able to do even better. I can now imagine the great art critics and curators comparing the simple urinal to my more complex creation.
And I also submit that I have demonstrated what I have set out to do -- to show the modern artistic world is a fraud, and the artistic world would benefit if someone had the courage to flush it all down the drain.... But wait a minute. Maybe modern art isn't a fraud. Perhaps this shows that everything is art and art is everything. And that's exactly the kind of gobbledygook any good art critic produces without end. And that's the kind of gobbledygook in a frame so many of the great critics, curators, art dealers and museums continue to embrace.
You hear that, art world? Herb Denenberg is pissed and he's not going to stop until art is all fat ladies and martyred saints again! Although, I must say, using the word "gobbledygook" twice in 14 words is quite a piece of artwork in itself.
Duchamp's urinal tops art survey [BBC]
Posted by D-Mac on March 6, 2006 03:57 PM
Posted to Art
, Evening Bulletin
, Herb Denenberg
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