January 31, 2006

State of the Union Liveblog

It's about 15 minutes before the State of the Union address, and I have one question: Is this thing in high definition?

Yes, for a combined Christmas-birthday present I got an HDTV for my apartment. It's nice. And bigger than I thought. And right now I'm watching American Idol in high def -- and, well, the remote is all the way at the other end of the couch, so I'm planning on staying on Fox 29 for the SOTU as well. So is it in HD?

Eff what Dubya wants to say about health care or Iran or how squeamish he gets when he thinks about two guys doing each other. I only have one question before the State of the Union, and I'm just wondering if it's in HD.

Also, lots of fat people have been made fun of on Idol tonight, and I'm expecting plenty of complaint press releases from the National Fat People Coalition or whatever.

Either way, join me here! A little before 9 p.m.! On Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday! For the State of the Union liveblog! I have a can of Yuengling with me, but no drinking games here: I plan on having half of it done at the end of this stupid speech. In the meantime, Matt Donegan has a new blog post up -- and it's predictably awesome -- and somebody invited Cindy Sheehan to the SOTU. Oh, snap. Okay, one drinking game: If Sheehan rushes the stage, I'll finish my beer.

After the jump, the minute-by-minute (or however often I come up with a one-liner) recap.

8:50 - Wow. It's amazing how many people sing "I Will Survive" during American Idol auditions.

8:52 - Okay, now it got interesting. Cindy Sheehan has been arrested, according to Capitol police according to CNN. What if she knocked out President Bush? What would happen? Would Dick Cheney give the speech? Oh, man, that'd be even better.

8:53 - Oh, shit. Better idea. What if Bush's big SOTU surprise is announcing that the government can now lock up annoying people? Man, that'd be awesome.

8:58 - CNN.com says that Bush's speech is going to say that "our Nation is committed to an historic, long-term goal -- we seek the end of tyranny in our world... the future security of America depends on it." Whoo! I am going to have a blast liveblogging this thing! Who came up with this idea, anyway?

8:59 - Oh, right, me. Nevermind.

9:00 - It's not in hi-def! Let's check the other stations.

9:01 - CBS has hi-def! And they talk about Cindy Sheehan: It says she was arrested with a group of protestors. Great explanation, guys.

9:02 - A quick check shows that ABC and NBC also have HD. Fox is the only loser. I'll stick with CBS since it was first.

9:03 - Wow, John Roberts is balder than I thought. Sam Alito looks smug and awkward, but, really, can you blame him?

9:05 - Bush is going to say America is "addicted to oil." Phew. I thought he was going to call me out on my... uhh woah this is a public forum, I mean, uhh, where was I, ohh, right, Donald Rumsfeld was just laughing really hard har de har har!

9:08 - I love this current camera view. There are big doors in the background and people keep walking behind them and casting huge shadows. It's like there's an army of giants ready to bust into the room.

9:09 - Annnnnd heeeeeere comes Bushie! Bob Schaffer says that House interns are made to sit in the seat hours beforehand so that congressman can get good seats and get on television. I love this country: It makes you want to stand up and cheer and slit your wrists at the same time.

9:11 - As Bush gets ready to speak, know what I'm thinking about? 1. He looks decent in HD. and 2. Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was arrested and was apparently wearing his jersey at the time. Amazing.

9:12 - There's a little reverb here; Bush has that whole Lou Gehrig "luckiest man-man-man on the face-face-face of the Earth-Earth-Earth" thing going on. Hmm, this probably a good plan. It can get him some sympathy.

9:13 - Mrs. King gets a standing O. The reverb continues and continues... and finally stops. Phew. And here I was about to get up and find the remote again.

9:15 - "The United States of America will continue to lead." See, this is why I knew this effing thing was a bad idea. However, first 9/11 mention comes at 9:15. If you had that in the pool, you win!

9:16 - Just as it turns 9:16 on my clock, we get our first "weapons of mass destruction" mention!

9:17 - Women voting in Afghanistan, Iraqis voting, more democracies now than in 1945. The "non-democracies" contain the usual suspects, though he includes Zimbabwe. No! We can't lose their support!

9:18 - First Bin Laden mention. Might've been 9:17, actually, but who's counting?

9:19 - Here's a mention I wouldn't have guessed: The Beslan school terrorist attack. And the paragraph it was mentioned in eventually gets a standing ovation. I see...

9:20 - Thanks, Bushie. I now know we're not going to retreat. You know, I was a little worried we were going to do that.

9:21 - "We are the nation that... liberated death camps." I almost hear after it, "Yes. That was for you Jewish people. Please support me?"

9:22 - Next, I expect Bush to say "We are the nation that lost to... err... defeated the Barbary pirates in the 1700s!"

9:23 - Woah! Who's the guy in a full out awesome African-looking robe? That dude's awesome.

9:24 - Speaking of dress, Bush's suit is pretty good. It's plain, but the tie is nice -- It's blue! What irony! -- and the American flag lapel pin isn't too big to be annoying. Plus, it's a little different than the usual flag pin.

9:25 - Shot of John Kerry! And he's looking down at the floor and running his fingers through his hair! Ha! Oh, Johnny.

9:28 - First mention of a recent hero, a Marine, Dan Clay, who died in service. This was a tradition started by Reagan cleverly and continued on and on and on again by every president since. Stil, you can't really get too angry at the family of a fallen soldier getting a seat at the State of the Union. And now I am sad. Sigh. Can we move on to the boring stuff, Bush?

9:29 - Breaking news: Bush supports the military! Also, to defeat the terrorists, we have to defeat "their vision of hatred and fear."

9:30 - Cheney has on a red tie. I get it now.

9:31 - Yes, nerds, he said nuc-u-LAR. Drink.

9:32 - Bush just said he wants to become friends with a free and democratic Iran. Uhm, sorry Mr. Bush, but no. I already am friends with enough people I don't like, I don't think I need any more friends -- let alone those Iranians! (Oh, if you're my friend and reading this, I'm not talking about you.)

9:34 - Ha, this is great. Bush mentions reauthorizing the Patriot Act, and half the crowd stands and the other half doesn't. Excellent.

9:37 - "If there are people in our country who are talkin' about Al Qaeda we want to know about it!" Oh, man. And, again, a half-standing, half-sitting audience. (He's talking about his illegal wiretapping, which I don't really care about but what I think it just effing stupid because he could go and get warrants in like five minutes to make it legal. Like, just go do it, you moron!)

9:39 - I think more people would watch the SOTU if there were some reason to. Like, I mean, in the middle of the speech, why couldn't Bush give away free Super Bowl tickets to one lucky viewer? I guarantee everyone would watch then. Come to think of it, why doesn't one of the TV stations do this? They could give away tickets at the bottom! And, uh, run ads and get viewers? Maybe this could cause some backlash, but oh, come on: Super Bowl tickets!

9:41 - Bush is talking about something expiring. I can only imagine he's talking about the NFL collective bargaining agreement. (It's up after the '07 season, I believe?) And, apparently, Republicans agree, and Democrats disagree! My stars.

9:42 - The fuck? Line-item veto? I haven't heard about that since Republicans wanted to not let Clinton have that (or something). Where did that come from?

9:44 - Bush made a funny: "Two of my dad's favorite people will turn 60 this year: me and President Clinton." Then he does an unintentional funny as he says "Congress did not pass my plan to save Social Security," and all the Democrats stand and clap and some people boo. Oh, man.

9:45 - "With level markets, and a level playing field, no one can outcompete, or outproduce, the American worker." Eff yeah! Nobody blogs like this effin' nation! Whoo!

9:47 - "Affordable health care" not preceded with "I don't care about"? Guh? Who has killed Bushie and replaced him with Johnny Socialist! Oh, wait, he's still going.... hold on.... health savings accounts... big businesses... portable coverage... wait, stil, this seems pretty socialist, where's the hook?... frivolous lawsuits... OB-GYNs... medical liability reform... more clapping... hmm... he's on to energy! What just happened.

9:48 - "America is addicted to oil.... the best way to break this is through technology." Like blogs?

9:49 - Apparently, all our cars are going to run on woodchips and stalks and switchgrass in six years. No, really.

9:50 - The "American Competitiveness Initiative"? Can I get some money to blog out of this? Uhh... my blog could be outsourced to China if not!

9:52 - Math and science? Math and science?! What about English and history, you jerk! Hmm? Hmm? What about the stuff Dan McQuade is good at? Huh?

9:54 - I'm going to fall asleep. He said something about Democrats and Republicans being proud of some record. I hope we're near the end.

9:55 - Ooh! Health of our culture! Activist judges! Gay marriage! "Parents are worried" about this! Is he going to say something? No, of course not. Hey, cool, he said our culture is not going to unravel. I'm down with that, dawg.

9:56 - First mention of Sam Alito and John Roberts. You know, all those Catholics on the Supreme Court are okay with this speech: All this sitting and standing is just like mass!

9:57 - Oh, we have to watch out for human-animal hybrids! Wait, what about Dick Cheney, the human-machine hybrid?

9:58 - Wait. Human-animal hybrids? He actually said we have to ban those. Was this an issue? Human. Animal. Hybrids. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

9:59 - New Orleans mention! And then the audio cut out for a second or two. Bush must've cursed or something.

10:00 - Bush wants to end the waiting list for AIDS medications in America? What's the catch? I have totally read on the Internet that he eats babies or something, what's going on? Also, it's 10 o'clock, when is this going to end? Aiiiiieeeeee...

10:03 - "May God bless America!" That's it! And immediately CBS is back doing post-SOTU commentary. But, wait, I don't care! It's over! Yaaaaay! Time to go out! (And by "go out," I mean "play Madden.") See youse tomorrow morning!

Posted by D-Mac at 08:45 PM | Comments (64) | TrackBack

SOTU Liveblogging!

If you're going to be watching television for tonight's State of the Union address, why not stop by Philadelphia Will Do for instant commentary, one-liners and possibly some poor typing if I do a drinking game during Bush's address. (Don't get your hopes up. I'm not going to. I have some journalistic standards.)

Barring technical difficulties like my laptop exploding or deciding to play Madden, I'll be liveblogging Bush's speech starting a little before 9 p.m. I promise only one thing: I will bash every single person who is mentioned in tonight's speech.

Okay, maybe not Coretta Scott King. Hmm.

Anyway, 9 p.m. SOTU liveblogging. In the meantime, you can read this unfunny and overly predictable "advance copy" of Bush's speech that was inexplicably labeled as coming from the Chicago Sun-Times on Google News.

2006 State of the Union Address (Advance Copy) [e.thePeople (oh Jesus Christ)]
State of the Union archives [C-SPAN]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Contrarian broadsheet, indeed!

The cover of today's Inquirer:

And the cover of today's Evening Bulletin:

Lest you think the Bulletinⁱ copied, I picked both up at the same time this morning at the newsstand. Which is kind of even weirder.

1. Standard disclaimer: Daniel McQuade used to work at the Bulletin yadda yadda yadda &c. You get the idea, or you know this by now.

Posted by D-Mac at 03:50 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Boulevard of broken dreams

Coretta Scott King, wife of MLK, died Monday night in Baja California, Mexico. Sad news. And, as expected, leaders around the nation are expressing their sadness. (Bloggers, too.)

In Philadelphia, we had Philly NAACP head J. Wyatt Mondesire chiming in:

We don't have those kind of people around anymore. And that's the kind of void that we have to carry now, that a woman who was almost saintly is now gone. And who can carry that on? I don't know. I just don't know.

He then added, "But, you know, in recent years Ms. King had stopped running with the ball and tried to be too much like a white civil rights leader. Frankly, Coretta is a testament of fallen dreams who perpetuated a fraud while hiding behind excuses dripping in make-believe racial stereotypes."

Coretta Scott King dies [CNN.com]
Phila. NAACP Head Remembers Mrs. King's Legacy [KYW 1060]
Donovan McNabb: Mediocre at best [Philadelphia Sunday Sun]
PWD on Jerry Mondesire

Posted by D-Mac at 03:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Myspace blog gets Del. reporter fired

I was a little surprised to hear some blog-related news out of Dover, the town with the weekly newspaper the Dover Post. I mean, I hadn't thought of Dover since my friend left a job there. Do they even have computers?

I kid, I kid. It turns out, that they have a blog brouhaha on their hands in Dover. A reporter for the Post, Matt Donegan, was fired by editor Don Flood for comments he wrote on his own Myspace blog.

"I didn't know anything about it," Flood told The News Journal of Wilmington. "I looked at the site, and sure enough it was there. Immediately afterward I verified with [Donegan] that it was his site and this is what he had written," Flood said. "And at that point I fired him... [some of the entries were] extremely offensive and just contrary to what we believe here."

Oh, and what were those entries? Let's go through a list of entries I combed through said Myspace blog of one Matt Donegan:

• "Thanks for that one, Doctor [King]. Now, because of you, I feel like I've been backed over by a black pickup truck today. Further, because of your life, it would be considered a racial crime for me (aka 'The Man') to shoot up a house full of black people who don't know how to keep their car stereos, or voices, at a normal tone in a residential area in the middle of a black night.... It's that kind of dick move by black people that turns all other people into racists. I bet James Earl Ray was woken up by black people yelling pointlessly in the streets the night before he killed your civil rights leader."
• "But hey, what else is new? This God awful feeling that has stayed on me all day like semen after a mid-afternoon root-pulling session."
• "I just typed a blog about my upcoming trip to wine country - the Finger Fucking Lakes - and this no good, cunt-faced, motherfucking whore bucket MySpace deleted it." (Editor's Note: Ahh, the sign of a true blogger -- a post about deleting a previous posting attempt.)
• "At least I inherited the mighty fallace [sic] gene, and therefore have no need for computer knowledge, or smarts of any kind for that matter."
• "This year, I: Started to really hate my job; didn't get laid nearly enough (not by good looking girls, anyway);"
• "That gym was a god damned zoo. I can't believe most of those animals are allowed out of the house. There was a mini-brawl between a couple of black fans (95% of them were black), some kid said he was going to steal my camera and half of the people there smelled like pot."
• Bonus Myspace profile excerpt: "About me: I'm a reporter, like Superman, but I'm also a Superfreak! Want to find out more? You don't? What a jerkoff! While you're here, try reading my blog. Most of the entries are about horseshoes or cum shots, but read it anyway."

Oh yeah, I didn't see this, but the News-Journal wrote that one of his clubs was the "National Organization for Men Against Amazonian Masterhood" -- or NO MA'AM. Of course, you may remember that from Married With Children.

I don't think I need to tell you that Matt Donegan is officially the bestest blogger ever. He says his blog was meant to be funny, and with all that cursing and constant attempts to get laid via print, how could it not be?

Donegan wrote just yesterday on his blog that he was fired for "exercising freedom of speech." An excerpt:

Foul language? You bet your fucking ass there is foul language. But racial slurs? Bashing the handicapped? Come on, people. It's sickening to think that you can't so much as joke about someone different than you nowadays without someone pinning a KKK hat on your head and calling you "Massa." Seriously, lighten the hell up already. Political correctness is killing society, slowly but surely.

Of course, someone getting fired for what they wrote on their Myspace page is about the stupidest thing ever. (All around. I think someone getting fired for what they wrote on Myspace makes us all stupider.)

And, hell, is one of my interests really that big pun rap where he goes "I'm sick/ You couldn't measure my dick/ with six rulers"? You bet your ass it is. So maybe that's a bad example.

I previously said that Daylin Leach shouldn't get killed for having a stupid unfunny blog online and I don't think Matt Donegan should, either. But, obviously, if you write that the Spectrum's haunted house was "darker than Martin Luther King Boulevard in Camden," and you think nobody's going to get pissed if they read it, then, well, you're stupider than a room full of honkey dropouts.

Editor's Note: It is NOT the official position of Philadelphia Will Do that black people woke James Edgar Ray up the morning before he assassinated Martin Luther King. Philadelphia Will Do believes he was awakened by a rooster.

Reporter fired for blog posts [The News-Journal]
Matt Donegan's blog [Myspace]
Sept. 6, 2005: Your Daylin Leach wrap-up

Posted by D-Mac at 02:33 PM | Comments (75) | TrackBack

Sam Alito, Phillies fan

Ahh, I know that some of you must be bummed today as Sam Alito was confirmed for the Supreme Court. Yeah, yeah, he's a conservative and you're liberal, yadda yadda abortion presidential power blah blah blah. (I know you think I'm neglecting my readers who may come from a conservative standpoint, thinking they'd be celebrating Alito's confirmation. Perhaps. But evidence shows that today conservatives -- at least on conservablog The Corner -- are complaining about the Oscar nominations. Strange world.)

But I digress. I, for one, celebrate this man's nomination. Uhm, hello, he's from the Philly area? We always support our own. I know, I know, maybe he doesn't really jive with all my values -- and he doesn't -- but that's okay.

You see, Sam Alito is a Phillies fan. And what do the Phillies do? They disappoint you over and over and over again. I mean, Alito even got former Phillies pitcher (and senator) Jim Bunning's autograph. And Bunning was on the 1964 team, which had the biggest collapse in sports history. Sam Alito may very well be the combination of Gene Mauch, Mitch Williams, Danny Tartabull and Randy Ready all in one.

As such, I expect conservative Sam Alito fans to feel just like Phils fans year after year after year... the only question is, can Supreme Court decisions be decided by a vote of 86-76 (and just miss the wild card)?

Alito Is Confirmed for Supreme Court in 58-42 Vote [New York Times]
RE: OSCARZZZZZZ [The Corner]
Philadelphia Phillies Team Index [Baseball-Reference.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

You can't censor cute wittle puppies!

The current brouhaha on the Internet, especially on righty blogs, is Google's decision to censor search results on its Chinese search engine, Google.cn. It's not really defensible, of course, but plenty of companies do shit like this all the time to get a share of market share in countries whose governments do a better job of silencing dissent and quashing free speech than ours.

Still, none other than The Weekly Standard parodied Google.cn's search results for a query of "human rights." Search result 6 caught my eye:

Puppies puppies puppies! Oh, nevermind, this is the best search engine ever. Hooray for censorship!

Google.cn
Okay, *do* be evil: Google launches censored google.cn in China [Boing Boing]
Googling "human rights" in China [Weekly Standard]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Next, you'll tell me Hooters only hires cute girls

Okay, you all probably know this story by now, but I'll run with it anyway. As usual, Dan Gross has the scoop on the offical news we all saw coming for a while: The Borgata is being sued for sexual harassment. Er, I'm sorry, for "a sexual and gender-hostile environment and sex discrimination."

And how! Although males didn't have uniforms, female "Borgata Babes" were given outfits they had to wear during their job. If they went back and requested a larger size, they were subject to a weigh in. Official rules had female staffers getting a suspension if they gained more than seven percent of their body weight and then being fired if they failed to lose said weight.

The particulars of this suit -- in addition to the aforementioned work environment -- come from the two plaintiffs, Renee Gaud, 36, and Trisha Hart, 28. Gaud alleges that she told the Borgata she has hypothyroidism and eating disorders, while Hart says she was denied sick time off for illness and her boss praised her pneumonia-related weight loss.

According to Gross, the pair allege that "the only medical leave acceptable to the Borgata was time off to get breast implants, which the complaint says was encouraged by supervisors."

Obviously, there's no doubt that "Borgata Babes" face sex discrimination. The job title would tell you that. And the whole "get fat and we fire you" thing is so bad it's hilarious. But can a company really be faulted for wanting to keep their roster of attractive waitresses attractive? Isn't that good business, even if they attempted to do it in a rehensible way? I don't know. Probably not. Eh.

Dan Gross | Ex-servers sue Borgata [DN]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:40 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Dieting... with sexy results

Sex sells. At least that's what they say, even if it's not legal. And now the newest place to start selling sex? Group dieting clubs:

"Since NutriSystem, my sex life is excellent," a male dieter says in one testimonial that claims a loss of 62 pounds.

Wow. Isn't this like prostitution or something?

NutriSystem lures men with pizza, sex [AP via CNN.com]
Yesterday: Lawyers trolling Craigslist for something other than sex

Posted by D-Mac at 10:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

A candidate we can all really get behind

Tulin over at PoliticsPhilly noticed in yesterday's Daily News her Temple classmate, 20-year-old Democrat Casey Robert Roncaglione, is running for state representative in the 164th district. His opponent is the incumbent, Republican Mario Civera.

After reading that one of her fellow classmates was running for state legislature, she decided to look him up. Facebook had nothing. But in the Temple directory, oh, was there a gem:

I smell a campaign slogan: "Vote for Ugly Ass and have poopy fun!" Seriously. This guy is awesome. I'm totally considering registering in the 164th just to vote for C-Unit.

A Rant: Casey Roncaglione & the 164th Legislative District [PoliticsPhilly]
Stu Bykofsky | Here comes fruit from Harrisburglar tree [DN]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:27 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Quickies: Best and worst

• Hey, the little gay movie that could Brokeback Mountain got eight Oscar nominations. Although Crash -- which was just okay -- got six nominations, so who know what these things are worth nowadays. [AP via Philly.com]

• In a list of award nominations that are totally accurate, Son of the Mask got a whopping eight Razzie noms. Upper Darby's own Jamie Kennedy cries a single tear. [AP via CNN.com]

• With Lynn Swann proving to be a tougher-than-expected challenger for Gov. Ed Rendell, the downside for Pennsylvania Republicans is a larger turnout in Southeastern Pennsylvania, which means more Democrats at the polls. And those are just the live ones! (Rimshot.) [Washington Post]

• Okay, somebody fess up: Needles in food products in a Lehigh Valley supermarket? What the hell? Who even has time to mess around with pranks like that when there's so much to do.... in Beth..lehem... okay, maybe it makes sense. [AP via Philly.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:03 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

An Overbrook student's rap, presented without comment

Coming to school 90 percent of the time

I mean grip your ID and get into line
Do excellent work, plus stay on task,
and if you want to pass, go to every single class.

I know you want to go home and get your rolly on,
but you need French I. Don't cut Ms. Collignon.
Everybody got potential, we can see it in your eyes.
If you want to rise, keep your mind on the prize...

Student rhymer helps principal rally school [Inky]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:16 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Abridged Daily News columnists

Elmer Smith: In the biggest shocker of the year, President Bush's new health care plan is good for the rich and bad for the poor. Who woulda thunk it?

John Baer: This one's an actual shocker: Pennsylvania is making some progress in recent reports (no, really). Yeah, that's Pennsylvania, the same one Philly is in -- don't worry, everyone's surprised.

Mark Alan Hughes: The City Hall security plan is poorly thought out. Next up: A well-timed Milton Street joke!

Posted by D-Mac at 09:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Only the important questions, please

Phew. It's nice to see ABC News is going to wait until all the shrapnel is out of his neck before moving on, at least.

Jonathan Storm | ABC: No plan yet to fill Woodruff's slot [Inky]

Posted by D-Mac at 08:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Lingere plus drunkenness equals...

Sometimes, you hear about a crime that you just wish you could have been there for:

Gwendolyn Jocson, 29, 900 block 2nd St., Bristol Township, 7:35 p.m., Sat, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness at Victoria's Secret, Neshaminy Mall.

Public drunkenness at Victoria's Secret? That's hot.

Public safety log 01.31.06 [Bucks County Courier Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 08:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 30, 2006

Blogicized: Men of the Internet

• Guess what, single gal? Guys you meet on Craigslist might be 32 and living with their parents in New Jersey! Okay, I guess you might've already known that. [Apartment 2024]

• Alas. The Padres signed Mike Piazza to a one-year, $2 million deal to be their catcher. Although the Phillies missed out him, Padres fans are ecstatic about the possibility for the sexiest locker room ever. [Gaslamp Ball via Deadspin]

• An added bonus to Philadelphians getting oil from Hugo Chavez: It possibly pisses off Pat Robertson. [Badminton Stamps]

• The city has signed the Wireless Philadelphia contract, and Northeast Philly is going to be the guinea pig to make sure the system will work. The whole city is supposed to be done by 2007. So get ready to use your wireless laptop on the city's system in about 2010. [Philly Future]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Blogger to co-host NBC 10 show, world to explode

Everyone knows blogging is so hot right now. Blogs have increased respectability, celebrities are blogging (poorly) and there are even professional bloggers.

Yeah, you say. So what? Ahh, my friend, I am getting to that. Fresh off Quizzo Bowl II, Philadelphia Quizzo maven Johnny Goodtimes -- who doesn't pay me for this publicity -- will be co-hosting 10! on Wednesday, according to sources close to Mr. Goodtimes (i.e. him).

To be honest, I usually leave the house before 10! starts, since I like to be at my desk by 10 a.m. But since Lauren Hart left the show, host and meteorologist Bill Henley has been hosting with a variety of co-hosts, including a whole week when random viewers were selected to host.

Johnny Goodtimes immediately moves onto the "biggest celebrities to co-host 10!" list, somewhere in the A.D. Amorosi area (but below John DeBella and Pierre Robert). I'm sure Johnny will do a fine job as co-host, but you know what this means, right? 10! is down to hiring bloggers to co-host the show. Good luck with alllll that.

Side note: Bill Henley's biography contained the greatest thing seen on NBC10.com, like, ever: Bill Henley wallpaper. Not only that, but almost all the anchors have desktop wallpaper: John Blunt! Tracy Davidson! Harry Hairston! Bill Baldini! Edie Huggins! Even Deanna Durante! Sadly, though, NBC 10's Lauren Cohn doesn't have any on her bio page, which is a shame -- since that's the only wallpaper I really wanted. Sigh.

A crowd pleasing Quizzo Bowl 2 [Johnny Goodtimes]
Moby's Journal
Jan. 20: Just a little respect, B-L-O-G-S

Posted by D-Mac at 03:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Lawyers trolling Craigslist for something other than sex

And here I thought Craigslist was only for racism, spam and photos of guys' dicks:

Have you been sexually harrassed in the MLM industry? Do beautiful women flirt, peak, reveal, tease, but it never seems to go anywhere? Or are pretty women given as rewards for high performance sales? Are sexually-charged encounters used to drive up your frustration level so you'll buy more products, or to destabilize your mind so they can brainwash you?

Such tactics are against Federal Workplace Discrimination Law. We all have a right to a harrassment-free workplace as well as professional encounters where the responsibility to care for clients does not include sexual advances.

If you are a male who has been sexually harrassed during Multi Level Marketing Company encounters, please respond to this ad with a few details, first names only for the time being. Not sure if Class Action is possible, but it should be seriously explored. Let's assemble the facts, your replies are kept in strictest confidence.

Wow. If you can get in trouble for using sex to sell something, the entire advertising industry is ruined.

MEN: Have You Been Sexually Harrassed IN MLM ? - w4m - 35 [Craigslist Philly]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Cute report: Baby pumas at the zoo

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dakota, the cutest wittle mountain lion ever! Dakota, as you may know, is one of three baby pumas the zoo just adopted. He went on display Saturday, and yours truly was there on a fact-finding mission to see if this little tyke was cute enough to be the official Philadelphia Will Do mascot of the forseeable future.

Well, really, I would have taken any of the pumas, but Dakota (the boy) was the only one nice enough to be up front for my viewing pleasure and not all the way in the back like those two girls, Sage and Cinnabar. Even female pumas reject me.

Anyway, Dakota was nice and cute, and while he's not a puppy, he's currently the new mascot of Philadelphia Will Do. (His possible future competitor? The kitty who lives at The Foodery, the deli near my apartment. I've been scouting him out for a little bit.)

There's a few more photos of the three puma cubs over here. They're also better, as my digital camera is from 2001, which means the instructions are written on parchment and it doesn't take great photos anymore.

Jan. 24: Yay! Puma kittens!

Posted by D-Mac at 02:00 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Right? Am I missing something here?

There was a really strange column in the Sunday Inquirer, from everyone's favorite pink-shoed columnist, Karen Heller. It concerns the new mid-season replacement sitcoms and why they degrade women by having pretty women be single losers. Eh. Maybe? I don't really doubt that it's harder to be a woman working lead on a sitcom, but, that seems like a bit too broad (zing) of a statement. Also, the fact Freddie Prinze Jr. got a sitcom degrades all men.

No matter. Certainly an okay column idea at least. But what caught my eye was Heller's lead:

Not to worry if you didn't catch Heather Graham's Emily's Reasons Why Not, the ABC show in which the heroine is such social roadkill that it makes Lisa Kudrow's The Comeback look like self-help theater. In general, you should be paid to consume so many empty carbs. Fortunately, I am - so you don't have to.

Graham, with Bambi eyes and Jessica Rabbit body, is so aesthetically and aerodynamically confounding as to have played Austin Powers' arm candy and a porn star in P.T. Anderson's indelible Boogie Nights.

On television, though, she has made the unnatural progression to total dating loser -- perhaps because she owns up to reaching the near-death age of 36 -- but mostly, I suspect, because watching beautiful things be as miserable as most mortals are has become a contact sport. This is what Sarah Jessica Parker and her Cosmo-swilling entourage have wrought, a modeling squadron of distraught, lonely women.

Yes, if you're pretty, you're happy -- and shouldn't be shown otherwise. Unless you're Heather Graham, whose Emily's Reasons Why Not provides the main example for Heller's argument, and your show was cancelled after one episode. This factoid, unless you read the first clause a certain way, isn't mentioned in the column. (I perused it three times; it's still possible I could have missed the mention of it.)

Look for an impassioned defense of The Book of Daniel in the pages of the Inky later this week.

Intuition | Treating cute babes like stupid loser dirt [Inky]
ABC halts production of Heather Graham's 'Emily's Reasons Why Not' [UPI via RealityTVWorld.com]
NBC Cancels 'The Book of Daniel' [9News]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

All apologies

As you may know, I'm a sucker for media minutiae, especially feuds where about 3 people keep the discussion in the forefront because they write and talk about nothing else. They're usually great.

If that's the case, then the feud at the Chestnut Hill Local is the most boring media feud ever, because I just can't get into this. The story (abridged) is this: The Local is published by the Chestnut Hill Civic Association. A top editor wanted to run a cartoon critical of the CHCA, and either resigned or was asked to leave. Every issue of the paper has covered the CHCA/Local "feud" and recent board meetings and I just can't read two sentences of any of those articles without falling asleep.

A letter from the editor on Thursday's editorial page, though, caught my attention:

One of the best things about being older and wiser is the ability to honestly say these three little phrases:

I don’t know.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

As interim editor of the Chestnut Hill Local, I made a mistake...

Sweet! What did she do? Run a fake story? Slander someone? Kill an intern?

As interim editor of the Chestnut Hill Local, I made a mistake by not noting that the recent article from Maxine Dornemann and Chris Kemezis was, indeed, an opinion piece. Perhaps I was so busy dodging all of the other "junk" that has been thrown my way since I began working at the Local that I welcomed an opposing point of view. Regardless of the circumstance, I erred. The proverbial buck stops at my desk and I was wrong. I am sorry.

She didn't correctly mark a piece as an opinion piece? That's it? Something that could have been readily noticed by anyone who read it and saw opinions? Oh, Jesus, nevermind.

Forward movement [Chestnut Hill Local]
Squabbling over the soul of the Local [Inky]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

If you need me, I'll be safely at my cube 'til forever

Oh yes, this is why I turned down the job blogging for Baghdad Weekly and took the one at PW instead. Now I remember.

Shrapnel Taken From ABC News Anchor's Head, Neck [CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:17 PM | Comments (52) | TrackBack

But what about dog on dog marriage?

As we all know, this weekend was the Chinese New Year, which means we've ushered in the Year of the Dog. Indeed! With all the hit books about dogs and the cuteness parade that's sweeping the country, it seems a perfect fit.

Now, as you all know, I love puppies. Puppies! They're very cute. But I've never even owned a dog, nor do I think I'll be able to afford one any day now. And I'm certainly not looking to marry a dog anytime soon. But legislators in Pennsylvania think I might be.

Yes, folks, it's the Pennsylvania Marriage Protection Act, from here on out known as the PIMP Act. The PIMP Act would amend the constitution and define marriage as simply for a man and a woman. A lawmaker from Cochranville, Chester County -- Rep. Arthur D. Hershey -- thinks that this is a necessary bill and that "down the road, people will want to marry their dogs and horses to get benefits."

In case you're wondering, "People will want to marry their dogs" is the new slang for "I hate gay people." (Thanks, Rick Santorum!) Apparently, there's this old book called The Bible that lays it out for everyone, although most people ignore the "don't be an asshole" parts.

No matter, though, Rep. Hershey is simply trying to protect us from all those people set to marry their horses or dogs and getting benefits! He's trying to save us money, people! I mean, who else but a high school graduate whose profession is a "Farmer-Legislator" to tell us what to do! Yaaaay PIMP Act!

Anyway, I have it on good authority that Arthur C. Hershey actually changed his last name to reflect his love of... oh, you know where I'm going with this. Oh, Arthur C. Hershey, you stupid, bigoted fuck. (Now that's journalism!)

5 county lawmakers co-sponsor marriage bill [West Chester Daily Local via My Sediments Exactly]
Arthur D. Hershey (Republican) [PA House]
Photo by jsmjr

Posted by D-Mac at 12:07 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

No blood for oil

Okay, I touched on this last week, but I don't think I really expressed the sheer awesomeness of it: Low-income families are getting cheap oil from a crazy man who hates President Bush. (Is it a rule that all dissent-stifling leaders have to be borderline insane? I'm including Our Fearless Leader in this question, too.)

A discussion of how power corrupts aside, socialist Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez and his state-controlled oil company have shipped five million gallons of heating oil and lowered the price by 40 percent, in a deal brokered by a non-profit and Rep. Chaka Fattah.

A strange PR move for Chávez, especially since I'm not quite sure when Philadelphians will be voting in elections in South America, but hey, what do I know. Some on the right are angry about Joe Kennedy's involvement, which makes sense -- it's like George P. Bush handing out pro-life signs at a rally.

But, come on, you can't help but think this is so Philadelphia. It's as if Police Commish Sylvester Johnson bought guns from the Iranians to combat the city's rising murder rate. Come to think of it, that might not be so bad of an idea...

Venezuela's discounted oil starts rolling into region [Inky]
Bridge over troubled oil? [Classical Values]
Jan. 27: Quickies: Captain Planet to the rescue!

Posted by D-Mac at 11:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

We're going to pimp you up

I really dig when people are really, really into their jobs. You know who they are: the NBA player who's just doing it because he loves the game, the jovial guy who runs the lunchtruck, etc. I'm sure there's a professional blogger out there who makes jokes about his Google pagerank. (No, not me. I usually say "staff writer... and blogger" when meeting new people.)

And, of course, this guy: A man so into pimpin' he had a trophy proclaiming him "Pimp of the Year." (How does one win pimp of the year? Most tricks turned? Fewest times busted by the cops?)

I'm talking about Matthew Thompkins, someone who we'll all be getting a lot of mileage out of in the coming weeks. The recently arrested pimp is accused of running a prostitution ring in New York, Boston, Las Vegas and Atlantic City. He's such a pimp that he gave an article to Ozone magazine talking about his "pimptuition."

One of Thompkins' trophies is four feet tall, "topped with a scepter-wielding figure in a crown and cape," according to the Inquirer. He's not all bad, though: Thompkins says he'd never pimp someone under the age of consent.

Oh, except the authorities said he was pimping out a 14-year-old girl. Now I know how you win Pimp of the Year.

FBI: Proud pimp nabbed [Inky]
It's Not The People Who Are Responsible, It's The Pimpitutions! [Philebrity]
Why use Google? [Google]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Quickies: Temple of the dog and cat

• While I'm not as big of a fan of them as I am of puppies, kittens are pretty boffo too. But sometimes they can be used for evil. Or at least to reinforce gender stereotyping, or something. Readers are angry at Step Inside Design's December/January issue, which had a kitten-filled cover to represent the "Women of Design." The response: "But we honestly believe you can change connotations by re-appropriating them (especially with humor). That's why it's OK for Spike Lee to make a movie about minstrel shows but it would not be OK if Woody Allen did. Mel Brooks can get away for Springtime for Hitler, but Prussian Blue can't ... context is everything." This is what as known as the "re-appropriating stereotypes cop out." [Folio Magazine]

• In honor of the Chinese New Year -- the year of the dog -- here's a list of the top 100 pop culture dogs ever. Krypto, Superman's dog, lands at #19. I'm feverishly working on a Top 100 Puppies Ever list. [Retrocrush]

• Somebody at the BBC totally effed up and somehow the BBC spent some time filming in Bristol, Bucks County, as opposed to the version of that town across the pond. (Okay, they're actually following around Iraq War vet and Democrat Patrick Murphy -- who's also running for Congress -- which means give the liberal bloggers five minutes to start going nutso over this television appearance.) [Bucks County Courier Times]

• I want to live in this guy's world, because I bet the mind-altering drugs are fantastic: "[The Washington Post has] decided to use their pages to mount a political campaign against progressive bloggers, who they've apparently decided are their sworn enemy. It's absolutely paranoid and ridiculous." [MyDD]

• Yes, if you've stepped outside today, Philadelphia is channeling 1849 London with all this fog. [Philadelphia Weather]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sadness

There was no dancing with mascots on today's Good Day Philadelphia. I'm never watching again.

Last Monday: The last 'Mascot Monday' ever?

Posted by D-Mac at 09:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Abridged Daily News columnists

Urban Warrior Chris Brennan: The deep drama of the "car with for sale sign ticket on street" continues: Auto dealers, who the law was written to stop, are getting away with it on a technicality, and the law could be rewritten. Crime is never safe with me, Urban Warrior, around!

Stu Bykofsky: I live in the 182nd district. I'm all for the candidate running for state house who thinks that "the upscale and educated 182nd should enjoy more influence than it does."

Posted by D-Mac at 08:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

This movie's a million-to-one shot

Yesterday's Inquirer had a big front page story from Michael Klein about the new Rocky Balboa movie and how the series could possibly end. (Sylvester Stallone claims he's not going to make a seventh film, but, hey, who knows.)

There are some good stories, but the best one is this: Sly was looking for a hard-edged girl for a bar scene, but couldn't find one until he met Angela Boyd, 20, who he used for the scene and then hired her as a production assistant.

There's also some discussion of the plot, which, in the interest of not spoiling it, I've discussed after the jump. As they say on these type of Internet stories, this contains SPOILERS. Click through for more.

Here's what the Inquirer has:

• Adrian is dead.
• Rocky's son, Robert, is a yuppie in Center City.
• Rocky returns to the ring after ESPN simulates a fight between Rocky and current champion Mason "The Line" Dixon. Rocky wins in the simulation, apparently, and Dixon challenges Rocky to a fight.
• Sly's going to shoot three ending and then decide which one to use.

This movie just gets more and more awesome every day.

Hangin' with Sly Stallone [Inky]
Audio: Stallone on the end [Inky]
Photo via Rocky Balboa Blog

Posted by D-Mac at 08:37 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

$40,000 worth of bobblehead bling

A press release came across my desk the other day, and it's quite possibly a new sign of the apocalypse:

Sports Radio 610 WIP's Howard Eskin is proud to announce that this year's "Eskin Bobblehead" raised over $40,000 for charity. The Eskin Bobblehead, available at kingbobblehead.com, sold out even quicker than last year's. It also generated more money for charity.

Well, at least Howard is using his fame for good.

Full press release after the jump.

ESKIN BOBBLEHEAD RAISES OVER $40,000 FOR CHARITY

Sports Radio 610 WIP's Howard Eskin is proud to announce that this year’s "Eskin Bobblehead" raised over $40,000 for charity. The Eskin Bobblehead, available at kingbobblehead.com, sold out even quicker than last year's. It also generated more money for charity. In addition to selling the Eskin Bobblehead, WIP’s "King of Bling" spread holiday cheer this year by giving some away on his show. All listeners that won a Bobblehead by listening to the Howard Eskin (weekdays from 3p-7p on 610 WIP AM) show were also qualified to win a $3,500 Rolex watch from Bernie Robbins Jewelers. Eskin donated the funds from this year's sales on Thursday January 26, in a ceremony at WIP's studios. This year's charitable recipients were the Terri Lynne Lokoff Foundation, Magee Rehabilitation Hospital, and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

PWD on Apocalypse Philadelphia

Posted by D-Mac at 08:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 27, 2006

Top 5 Will Do

Every week, as I sit down to write this wrap-up post, I think, "Damn, how did I manage to get through this week?" This is no exception. A quick glance at this week: Philadelphia Will Do featured roughly 13,000 words in 66 posts (67 now). Even if a good chunk of that was blockquoted text, that's just effing ridiculous.

That being said, here's to another week. Hope you enjoyed.

1. In what might be the most popular post I've done since starting last August, these three images are really and truly from Good Day Philadelphia. There's some explanation of it here, and more Good Day goodness here.
2. In other television news, UPN and WB are merging to form CW 57. NB to executives: Cancel the getting-stranger-by-the-minute Veronica Mars -- seriously, did you see the last episode? -- and the getting-cuter-by-the-minute Kristen Bell and heads will roll.
3. The Daily News is going to have to turn to cactii: The plant-watering service has been axed.
4. There's at least one magazine editor who hasn't bought into the Philly-is-cool hype. Hey, hey, hey. Don't you know only natives are allowed to hate this city?
5. The plan to rename 30th Street Station after a certain bifocal-wearing local inventor is toast, and the citizens erupt in celebration.

And, yes, today is my birthday. To all who said kind things, sent cards or just thought they'd like to wish me a happy birthday, my fondest thanks. I'll buy you a drink sometime.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:10 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Blogicized: Villanowhere

• Villanova has gotten $100,000 from the EPA in hopes that the school can "identify ways to better manage how prescription and non-prescription pharmaceuticals are discarded from university dormitories." One hundred thousand dollars. For that money, you could give 100 people without healthcare enough money to at least buy a little. Or you could burn 100,000 one dollar bills. Either way, it seems about as useful. [The Trouble With Spikol]

• Filling the former Today's Man spot on Chestnut Street is Loehmann’s, who has signed a 10 year, $5 million deal. [America's Hometown]

• Huzzah! It's nice to see a local soldier getting home okay, especially nowadays. [Grizzly Mama]

• Effin' A. Philabuster rocks out to Mozart on his 250th. [Badminton Stamps]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Quickies: Hellos and goodbyes and birthdays

• I just got forwarded an email from Charles Bennison, Jr. (left), the Espicopal Bishop of the Diocese Pennsylvania, that says he was asked to resign effective March 31. He writes that "if you felt that I were not leading the diocese effectively and asked me to resign, I would pray about it, and, if I felt it were God's will, I would do so. I am seriously praying about the Standing Committee's request, and I ask that you pray for me, for our colleagues throughout the diocese, and above all for the unity and health of our diocese." As a Catholic, I'm not sure if this is a huge deal, but make of it what you will. The full email is after the jump.

• According to his Myspace profile, indie rock and Princeton basketball guru Jon Solomon will be producing a biweekly podcast featuring local artists called "Local Support" for PW competitor Citypaper starting in March. Looks like I need to saddle up. Or, you know, we can all coexist in this here "Internet" thing. [Myspace]

• A very happy birthday to the Philadelphia Gay News, who is seven years older than me, and they've totally kissed more people than I have, too. Boys and girls. [PGN]

• Also, today, none other than Mozart is 250. In, uhm, less fun news, it's also Holocaust Memorial Day. And while the Apollo 1 disaster killed three astronauts 39 years ago today, the Challenger was nice enough to wait a day and not add to the bummers remembered today. [Wikipedia]

From: Episcopal Diocese of PA

[mailto:EpiscopalDioceseofPA@diopa.org]
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2006 5:05 PM
To: Diocese Staff
Subject: The Conversion of Saint Paul

January 25, 2006

Dear Brothers and Sisters:

Last evening the Standing Committee informed me that it had voted unanimously to ask me to retire or resign as your bishop by March 31.

I said in my address at the Diocesan Convention last November that if you felt that I were not leading the diocese effectively and asked me to resign, I would pray about it, and, if I felt it were God's will, I would do so. I am seriously praying about the Standing Committee's request, and I ask that you pray for me, for our colleagues throughout the diocese, and above all for the unity and health of our diocese.

I look forward to our deanery clericus meetings this spring and our deanery pre-convention meetings over the weeks leading up to the Special Diocesan Convention on March 25 as times when we can discern prayerfully together God's will for us as a Christian community. I will send out the call for the Special Convention after Diocesan Council meets on February 9. The schedule for the upcoming meetings is in the February issue of The Pennsylvania Episcopalian.

I welcome your communication with me by telephone, email, mail, or in person. Please know of my love and prayers for each and every one of you.

Faithfully in Christ,
Charles E. Bennison, Jr.

P.S. If those of you in charge of congregations would read this to your people at your services of worship in the next week, I would be grateful.

Posted by D-Mac at 02:35 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Thar, she blows

The cover of this week's Atlantic City Weekly (which, yes, is a PW-parent company Review Publishing product, but, oh, come on):

Tourism that Blows [AC Weekly]
Full cover image here [AC Weekly]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

NBC 10 goes after coveted 'bored stoner' demographic

Huge Pot Tunnel Connects Mexico To U.S. [NBC 10]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:30 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Happy birthday to me

Twenty-three years ago today, in a hospital in Northeast Philadelphia, one Daniel McQuade was born.

Er, wait. I guess it was 24 years ago. I never get this right. Let's see, I'm 23 today, so I'm entering into my 24th year, right? I always feel embarrassed that I can't ever figure this out.

Back in first grade, I used to get made fun of for my birthday. You see, when everyone else was already six years old, I was turning six on January 27, 1989, the youngest one in the grade. I was the youngest kid in high school, too, though by that time it didn't matter much. It did matter again in college, when I didn't turn 21 until the second half of my senior year, spending too much time wrangling with bartenders over fake IDs and sitting at home when everyone else was out.

That all seems so long ago now: feeling young, fake IDs, worrying about my age. And, of course, I am still young. It just doesn't really feel that way anymore.

Some people reflect on their past year around the New Year, but I usually wait until my birthday, since it's so close. Looking back at last year, I don't really know what to think. I remember every detail, every argument, every work day, every transition, every disappointment, every success, in such vivid detail, but I'm not sure if it really even happened. Everything seems to go so fast. So much seems to happen.

Maybe it's always like that. Just this past year, though, I seemed to do a lot. I moved out of my parents' house to my own place in Center City. I did a decathlon. I sat for 12 hours on the Ben Franklin Parkway. I rode a Segway. I blacked out for three hours. I gained weight. I lost weight. I tried to move to New York (and failed). I got a $100 pair of jeans. And, uhm, hello, I got a job blogging?

You know the drill: If you had asked me if this is where I'd be in 2006 this time last year, I would have laughed blah blah blah. I think I say that every year. But sometime over the last 12 months, I really started to feel like I might just be turning into a responsible adult. Heck, I have dry cleaning to pick up on the way home.

And that's both astounding and scary and wonderful, all at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I want to go back to playing Super Mario Bros. 2 with my dad in our wood-paneled Northeast Philly basement. But now, not only can I play Super Mario Bros. 2, I can play as Mario in 3D! And I can play as him in tennis and go karts and baseball and board games and golf and even Dance Dance Revolution!

Mario, of course, is a little busier than I am, and really the only major adulthood problems I've encountered so far is going over my text messaging limit and forgetting to balance my checkbook. While I don't think I'll be rescuing any princesses anytime soon, I do think it's kind of scary that I could, soon, be facing actual, real world problems and have to do it all on my own. I don't know what they'll be, but I also don't know if I'm going to be able to face them.

I know I'm not special. Everyone goes through this transition into adulthood, but I can't help think other people are more prepared than me. Whether that's just a simple case of middle-class insecurity or my usual uneasiness about my talents in life, I don't know. But I can't even get a date. How am I going to be able to invest money or write a book or continue to make a living or whatever else it is that grownups do? And when am I going to be able to get a puppy?

That's all in the future, though. For now, I'm content to sit back, put my legs up, and hope the next 24 years are as successful as the first 24.

Dammit! I mean the next 23 years. Right? Oh, I'll never figure this out.

Essay archive

Posted by D-Mac at 01:00 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Retro Newscaster time

Thanks to a reader, we have this treat for you today: A photo of Larry Mendte in 1985 on New York's WABC:

You gotta bring back that jacket, Larry.

Bio: Larry Mendte [CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:27 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Today's 'Inquirer' front

Whoo! Big Sixers win? Did my boy Kyle Korver hit a game-winning three?

Oh. That's an ad?

Oh. I bet somebody on Hamas hit a game-winner, though.