December 30, 2005

Auld lang syne

Now that 2005 is over, I only have one thing to say: Whew. Look at everything that happened: Philadelphia got cool (really), the Eagles got to the big game (and then imploded), local politicians continued to embarass themselves in various ways (I'm looking your way, Rick Mariano) and one local 22-year-old got a freaking job blogging. I know, right?

I don't quite get what to make of this year, but I do know this: I couldn't have done it without you. Since launching this blog in late August, it's been quite a strange trip: praise, hate mail, the whole shebang. The only thing more mindblowing that people emailing me and saying they really enjoy what I write is people emailing me telling me I can't write. Either way, I'd like to thank all of you for reading.

A lot of people have really helped me out -- even if they didn't know it. Some people emailed thanks, some people sent tips, some people linked me and some people were just inspirations. Last week in PW, EIC Tim Whitaker wrote a big list of people's names with holiday wishes, and I kind of liked it. So I'm stealing the idea. And thanks to the magic of hyperlinking, I can link to selected people to show you some of their fine work. Or something I wrote about them. Or make fun of them. It's like a big game -- albeit the stupidest game ever -- and you have to figure it out. They're in no particular order. If you didn't get a link it's because you're so good I couldn't choose one. Or I was lazy.

After the jump, the fondest of New Year's wishes. I'll see youse in 2006, back on a regular schedule.

Johnny Goodtimes • Andy Cliver • John Carroll • Karl Martino • Jeff Barg • Jill Ivey • Sammy Mack • Lauren McCutcheon • Joey Sweeney • Mike Benner • Rebecca Rindler • Cassidy Hartmann • Jeff Cox • Will Bunch • Dan Rubin • Albert Yee • Chuck Pennachio • Kate Kilpatrick • Kate from Ego • Will Leitch • Sheriff Gonna Getcha • Jake Wilson • Kyle Whelliston • Jon Tannenwald • Kia Gregory • The Northeast Times • Sara Green • Steve Volk • Jesse Smith • Gwen Shaffer • Tim Whitaker • E-Mail Group • Sara Kelly • AOL Instant Messenger • Ken Pomery • The Daily Pennsylvanian • Jason Weitzel • Ray Didinger • The oh-so-cool PW ad staff • Dorothy Robinson • Shannon Jensen • Michelle Dubert • Tom Acox • Kate Moorehead-Kuhn (and I probably spelled that wrong) • Peter Forsberg, Simon Gagne and Mike Knuble • Ron Varrial • D.J. Gallo • Liz Spikol • Mike McFarland • Cute Puppies • John Finger and Andy Schwartz • Jessica Lussenhop • Lunch trucks • Rich Hoffman • Phil Sheridan • Josh Cornfield • Phil Jasner • Les Bowen • Ryan Howard • David Akers • Kyle Korver • Mike Kern • Mishel Cobb and the rest of the IT staff (and, come to think of it, the rest of the Philly Roller Girls) • Brad Maule • JJ Tiziou • Neo • Nom De Plume • The Capitol years • Plain Parade • Jessica Pressler • Kirsten Henri • Everyone at The Evening Bulletin • Even Cuter Puppies • Northeast Philly • Everyone I forgot, since this list is too damn long already.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:30 PM

The Northeast Times Letters Quiz: Answers revealed!

It's going to be a light day today, folks. I just have one or two things planned for the afternoon and that's about it. But you're already partying like it's 2006, right?

Anyway, the answers to yesterday's Northeast Times letters quiz: Andy was the first one to get it right; #3 and #6 are both not real Northeast Times letters.

#3 I just made up and wrote in about 15 seconds. #6 is a real letter, it just appeared in the Daily News a few months ago. Yes, every other letter ran in the Northeast Times sometime in the past few years. Even the really racist ones. Even the one that says "As for the squirrels in the park, they will not leave an area filled with so many nuts." Amazing, huh?

Posted by D-Mac at 09:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 29, 2005

The Northeast Times Letters Quiz

When I was a little boy, I would read the letters page of the Northeast Times and think to myself, "Who writes these letters? Who prints these letters?" Now, of course, I am older, but I am still baffled by those two questions.

To get over my puzzlement, I've always just made fun of them. (Making fun of things is what makes the world go 'round.) But with no Northeast Times this week, what would I do? A reader helped out with a quick IM and a good idea: print a bunch of Northeast Times letters, throw in a few fakes, and see if anyone can pick out the fake ones.

After the jump, 10 letters. Eight are from the Northeast Times letters page, two aren't. Can you spot the real ones from the fakes? A few easy ones -- ones that have been on this site before -- have been thrown in because they were so abhorrent I had to post them again. The winner gets a photo of a puppy.

Letter 1

A friend passed a copy of your Aug. 18 editorial concerning Terrell Owens on to me. I was delighted at seeing someone else who feels the same as me about this semi-literate, overpaid baboon.

I finally lost my patience when the Inquirer devoted over half the front page recently to a banner headline extolling the fact that this monkey swung down from the trees and showed up for practice — just like us ordinary peons with the exception that we are not paid millions a year to play a kid’s game. I sent them a letter, which they declined to print. I wouldn’t know what TV news had to say, as I rigorously avoid them as I consider them intellectually bankrupt.

If T.O. ever decides to give up on athletics and get a job at his other skill level, I’ll be glad to vouch for him to McDonald’s. Keep up the good work!
H. J. Adamcik
Collingdale, Pa.

Letter 2

In response to those who think that taking Burholme Park or part of it is inconvenient, I would like to remind them that death from cancer is even more inconvenient.

As for the squirrels in the park, they will not leave an area filled with so many nuts.

I have a suggestion: When someone is diagnosed with cancer, take them to the batting cages in the park, then take them to the golf course. After that, if they are not cured, take them to Cottman Avenue.

They can go west to Holy Sepulchre Cemetery or other cemeteries on Church Road and Huntingdon Pike. No inconvenience, no traffic jams, and the squirrels can take over the park. But remember, you could be that person.

Cancer can take anybody — even the selfish.
Bill Bartle
Fox Chase

Letter 3

I am writing about Mayor Street's recent racist comment about "the brothers and sisters running the city.

I am extremely angered that he would say such a thing. If a white man said that, he would be booted out of office before he finished his sentence. I can't understand why Mayor Street would be such a racist -- some white people voted for him, why doesn't he recognize that?

Fortunately, there is an election coming up and we have the chance to vote Mayor Street out of office for GOOD, all of us, BLACKS AND WHITES! Get the bum out!
Jamie Lindberg
Pennswood

Letter 4

It would seem as if the debate over boys playing field hockey is not as much a referendum on boys playing field hockey but rather a referendum on Mike Walsh of Washington High School playing field hockey.

I proceed with a bias, for Mike Walsh is my son. When my son was 5, I put him on a local soccer team. The typical score during his tenure was 8-0, 12-0 and 10-1, whereby Mike would score every goal. I became somewhat embarrassed by his natural talent. Parents would become very angry. I would tell Mike to let the other kids score just so the other parents would not be so angry.

Once a professional golfer was sitting at a local driving range and told my 15-year-old son Mike that he should consider professional golf because he had never seen a kid hit the ball with such a natural talent. Mike was not interested. He simply wanted to hit the ball as far as possible for the fun as well the challenge.

When Mike was 16, he scored 40 points in a championship basketball tournament, having never played on a school team. The commissioner of the league said that every so many years a kid comes out of nowhere and all of the coaches ask, "Where has he been?"

This is my son. He lives for the love and the challenge of sports. Keep an eye out for him, for he has tried out for basketball at Washington High School.
John Walsh, proud father
Royersford

Letter 5

I suggest that the administrators of Lincoln High School leave their ivory tower and walk from Lincoln to Frankford Avenue at dismissal.

Take the driveways between Cottman and Aldine and listen to and observe the behavior of some of their wannabe thugs. It’s easy to blame the victims of Lincoln's kids' disrespectful, foul-mouthed walk to the bus stop. Try to instill some behavior-modification en route, since you are "parente en loco."

Look at our cellar ways where they sit to smoke and get high; pick up the liquor bottles that are strewn on our lawns. Stop the wolfpack fights on other kids. Clean the air of the most filthy language known to man, and maybe you’ll get the respect you want for your classes.
The police do everything possible within their limits. You need to stop defending those who disrespect our Mayfair community. I’m sure they would not appreciate herds of fresh-mouthed vandals swarming over their grandmothers' neighborhoods like they do here.
Patricia Ubele
Mayfair

Letter 6

Every time I turn on the TV, I find the women who give us the news pregnant.

It is quite disgusting. Why don't they get early maternity leave?

I turned on a local channel, and there were two weather forecasters who were pregnant. Pregnancy is a joyous thing for women, but they should try to be discreet and keep it private. Now I just watch public television.
John Stuhr
Morrell Park

Letter 7

Dear grateful person:

I received your generous gift at the hospital. I had no way to contact you personally to thank you, so I'm hoping you read this thank-you note. It was very much appreciated. It was not necessary for you to do that.

I'm glad your stay was pleasant and for whatever I did for you to make it a pleasant stay. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I wish you the best of health.
Barbara Jastrzebski
Parkwood

Letter 8

I would like to remind voters that the wives of the president and the vice president also represent America around the world.

Do we want a disrespectful and vulgar first lady? I don’t think so.

Do we want women in the White House that do not dress very well?
How about a first lady who controls her husband and flashes around all the money she has?

How about overweight women? Remember, they are representing America.
Both John Kerry's and John Edwards' wives control their husbands.

We had that in the White House not too many years ago. Do we want that again?

Just a thought when we vote on Nov. 2.
Robert C. Kralle
Parkwood

Letter 9

I think it is a disgrace that Rosa Parks was put on display at the Rotunda in Washington, D.C. This honor is supposed to be for U.S. presidents and military leaders! Who made this decision? Sure, Ms. Parks stood up for a belief, but to be put on the Rotunda like that is a joke.

What about our military members who are returning in body bags from Iraq? Put them there for serving their country, but not a civilian like Parks.

Who's next? Al Sharpton? Louis Farrakhan? Jesse Jackson? O.J. Simpson? Go ahead, call me racist. The brothers and sisters are running the city!
James Kelley
East Torresdale

Letter 10

I read the article in the Jan. 27 issue concerning the development of the East Torresdale properties. This area does NOT need another bar/restaurant.

If any of the developers coming into the area would take a very long drive around the area extending from East Torresdale to far and beyond its borders, they would notice that there are absolutely no bookstores around.

This may not concern the many that spend their paychecks at all of the bars/restaurants around here, but if they could construct some very nice book stores such as Borders, which is also a very cool coffeehouse (which can be found in the suburbs) or even a Walden Books or Barnes & Noble, that would be a welcome change to the many who do like to spend their time reading and relaxing.
Joann C. Hutton
Upper Holmesburg

Okay. Two are not from the Northeast Times letters page, eight are. Can you spot the fakes? The first person to e-mail or comment with the correct answer wins a puppy. Er, a photo of a puppy.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:30 PM | Comments (31) | TrackBack

Quickies: Enter the Wu-Tang

• As much as I dug this Wu-Tang dance article in the Daily News today, what was even better was the sidebar speculating where the dance came from: "The Wu-Tang Clan borrowed its name from this fighting style, and the rap group has gone as far as dubbing Staten Island 'Shaolin,' a mythical breeding ground for kung-fu masters." [DN]

• I'm totally using this condoms filled with flour defense one day. Maybe for like a parking ticket or something. [Inky]

• Your daily dose of Benergy, this time sports related. [DN]

• The Majestic Diner (formerly the Ritz, formerly the U.S. 1 diner) on the Boulevard in Northeast Philly? You can have it for a price. And then you can move it to whereever you want to. No, really. [Citypaper]

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You can lead a horse opera to water...

A correction in today's Daily News:

The HBO horse opera "Deadwood" is set in the 1870s, not a century later as reported in yesterday's list of Ellen Gray's Top 10 TV shows from 2005.

I only have one thing to say to this: Horse opera? Shit, I need to watch this show more.

Correction 12.29.05 [DN]

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Abridged Daily News columnists

Stu Bykofsky: Hmm... I don't have anything to write about. I know: A reader mail column!

John Baer: Hmm... I don't have anything to write about. I know: A "here's the times I screwed up" column!

Posted by D-Mac at 10:36 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Slot machine fever!

Despite what you may personally feel about slot machines coming to Pennsylvania, you have to admit one thing: self-help guru Pat Croce investing in slot machines is almost as funny as Bill Cosby telling people to speak correctly. Because there's nothing that says "self-help" like "throwing your money away into a little box."

Yesterday was the state-imposed deadline for companies to submit proposals for slots parlors, and there are five companies vying for deals -- and none of the places these companies want to put the parlors are at the most logical spot across from the Convention Center. (Sorry, Funk-O-Mart, I love you, but if you have to go, you have to go.)

The five companies who applied for licenses in Philadelphia are:

• Foxwoods Development: Controlled by the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation, the group is partnering with local investors (Ed Snider, Billy King, ex-Phillies centerfielder Garry Maddox) to build a $350 million casino on the Delaware Riverfront between Reed and Tasker streets.
• Pinnacle Entertainment: This Las Vegas-based company wants to build its casino in Fishtown. It'd include 3,000 slot machines, bars and restaurants and a movie theater.
• Donald Trump: This is the Pat Croce-backed plan. To be called TrumpStreet -- sigh -- it'd be at the former Budd Company location in Nicetown.
• Planet Hollywood: This is the Delaware river casino on the former city incinerator site. They're going to call it "Riverwalk."
• Sugar House Gaming: This company wants to build a $450 million casino on the Delaware riverfront.

None of these, with the possible exception of the Fishtown plan, seems all that great. But this is Philadelphia! What did you expect? Two proposals will be approved, in the obvious short turnaround of 12 months.

Placing their bets [Inky]

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Lede of the day, where's-the-punchline edition

Today's lede of the day comes from Daily News scribe Catherine Lucey, who writes about the Montgomery County man charged in the death of a 17-year-old alleged escort:

What's the price of freedom for a suburban businessman charged with hiring an underage call girl and giving her a deadly dose of cocaine?

$250,000 in cash.

Love the intro, but that punchline is going to need to be worked on.

250G cash bail set in call-girl death [DN]

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December 28, 2005

Blogicized: Benergy! Get into it!

• A recap and a look ahead at everything building related in our fair city. If there's a Planet Hollywood (with slots!) at Penn's Landing I bet the city has its "Next Great American City" title revoked. [phillyskyline]

• What better way to celebrate this week of slow news than with a look at Kevin Federline-Spears' personal home page? Don't even bother answering; there is no better way. [TinaPoPo and Friends]

• Somehow, that whole Sony fake graffiti marketing thing has turned into a debate about graffiti glorifying murderers. I can settle this: We paint over everything with drawings of Ben Franklin! See: Everyone can agree with that. [Classical Values]

• Councilman Wilson Goode says goodbye to Young Philly Politics. Hey, a politician can only blog for so long. [Young Philly Politics]

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All about the Benjamin

An editorial in the Inquirer notes today that there's a possibility that 30th Street Station will be renamed Ben Station.

Look, I like Ben Franklin and all: He founded the college I went to, he did something with a kite and key, he invented about a million different things and he wasn't a player -- he just crushed a lot. But do we really need to name every single thing in the city after him just because he was born 300 years ago? Franklin Field, Franklin Square, the Ben Franklin Parkway, the Franklin Institute, the Franklin Building and that stupid statue near Pine Street aren't enough?

A guy on Livejournal notes that Amtrak doesn't like the idea, especially due to its similarness to Penn Station -- and there are already two of those, in Newark and Manhattan. (Another guy on LJ says "I think it is great. It reminds me of Ben Franklin, famous intellectual and world-class pimp," which is the most compelling argument in favor of the renaming I've heard yet.)

Anyway, even if they renamed the station in favor of Ben Franklin, everyone would just call it 30th Street Station anyway. (See: West River Drive, Delaware Avenue, etc.) And that's the way it should be. The Inky editorial board is all nice about it, and that's all well and good, but let's say it like it is: This is the stupidest idea since, well, putting a Planet Hollywood at Penn's Landing.

Uh oh.

Editorial | Name of the game is leave it the same [Inky]
Ben Station? [Livejournal Philadelphia Community]

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Quickies: Trenton tea party

• The Inquirer, clearly, has laid off its entire design staff and is using the Designbot 5283 version 1.2 beta 1, since today's front page layout (at left) is the same exact one as yesterday. The story's decent, too. [Inky]

• It's an all-around bad day for doughnuts: "Time to make the donuts" actor Michael Vale is dead at 83. [AP via CNN.com]

• If you read one column headline this year, make it this one: Don't shortchange historic importance of tea. [Trentonian]

• A fun, nice, holiday story: Man stabs friend on Christmas Eve. Aww. [Trenton Times]

• Some housekeeping: I wrote up a whole year-in-Philly recap and it really only works as one piece, so I'm just going to tighten it up and run it sometime tomorrow or Friday. Youse all okay with that? Good.

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Everything must go (including the customers)

For a long while, perhaps the only Krispy Kreme north of the Mason-Dixon Line was just outside of Philadelphia on U.S. Route 1 in Bensalem. It closed its doors years ago, but the Southern doughnut franchise eventually expanded into Philadelphia, promising 16 stores when it said it was coming into town in 2001. The Daily News wrote about 100 advertisements feature stories about the company, people lined up at 5 a.m. at the Roosevelt Mall location and Krispy Kreme was a sensation.

Fast forward to 2005, and all Krispy Kreme locations in Philadelphia have been closed. The company's been in a dire financial situation for a while now, and the subsidiary that runs the Philly stores just filed for Chapter 11, citing $24.1 million in debts.

Usually when stores close, though, they have going out of business sales or they close during off hours. Yesterday, the Krispy Kreme location on Cottman Avenue closed while customers were waiting in line to buy doughnuts. Writes the Philadelphia Business Journal:

But a customer, Shanti Bacari of Philadelphia, said she was at one of the locations, 2327 Cottman Ave. in Northeast Philadelphia, at about 12:30 p.m. Monday when it closed abruptly.

About a dozen customers were trying to get inside and people waiting in the drive-thru line were turned away, she said.

Inside, customers continued to make purchases as it appeared a group of employees were holding a meeting, said Bacari, who was among those turned away.

With corporate strategy like this, somehow I'm not surprised Krispy Kreme's Philly subsidiary has $24 million in debt.

Krispy Kreme down to zero Philadelphia stores [PBJ]

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Red storm for bowl game

A story in the Inquirer today highlights a man who might be the craziest sports fan on the planet: A die-hard, crazed Rutgers fan. Until this season, Rutgers hadn't been to a bowl game since 1978, which means Temple had been to a bowl more recently than the Scarlet Knights. And that's bad.

But that didn't matter to Jeffrey Oldt, a Rutgers grad and season ticket holder who -- after deciding he couldn't afford to attend the game -- had a giant party at his own place, complete with stolen bleachers, a Rutgers motorcycle, a new TV in front of a roaring fireplace, Jell-O shots, etc. And everything was red, the school's color. (At this point, I'd like to nominate this man as Best Rutgers Fan Ever.)

All of this for Rutgers. The Inky story doesn't say it, but -- of course -- the Scarlet Knights lost last night. Alas.

Rutgers fan brings bowl scene to his front lawn [Inky]
Arizona State 45, Rutgers 40 [AP via Yahoo!]

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Abridged Daily News columnists

Just one today, folks. But that's one more than yesterday!

Rotan Lee: Aww, come on -- cracker isn't that bad of a racial slur! And Carl Singley apologized, pretty pretty please let him have his job with the school district back!

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It's the season for marketing backlash!

We just passed the holiday devoted to the celebration of commercialism in this country, conveniently placed on a day when a carpenter many consider to be the Christ was born over 2,000 years ago. And, during the run up to this big ol' commercialism holiday, there are plenty of ads. Too many to really attract everyone's attention.

And so the ad wizards at big companies come up with these pseudo-underground campaigns that try to be all hip and edgy and, of course, fail. Sony recently launched a campaign for the PSP, the portable video game console, that uses graffiti art, like the image at left (which I took with my camera phone at Good Dog, I think).

Once the pseudo-underground campaign launches, there's the oh-so-predictable backlash. It seems silly to me. It's like when someone in the media makes fun of bloggers and every third person with a blog has to weigh in about how the media doesn't respect this more pure form of "citizen journalism" and blah blah blah. (It's no surprise that bloggers have been bashing this.) Who really cares if Sony is using an art form usually done by people just for fun to promote their product? If you really hate it, just ignore it. Or, you know, deface it. That's kinda funny, at least.

Either way, the backlash has extended past the usual "corporation infringing on our counter-culture" argument. The Society Created To Reduce Urban Blight called the ads "very arrogant and very disrespectful." And the city's managing director accused Sony of encouraging graffiti. All well and good, I guess. But the real graffiti artists are only going to find Sony's ads stupid at best. And anyone inspired to tag somewhere else by an ad for a PSP is, well -- there's not really much to be done with someone that receptive to messages.

So don't worry. These stupid ads will disappear in a few weeks and we can all move back to complaining about more important things -- namely, the Eagles.

Sony ads draw public ire [Inky]

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Optimus Prime was #34

Geeze. Even the year-end awards specials are stretching it this year. This might be the slowest week in the history of man.

The 50 Best Robots Ever [Wired]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Also: Baby teeth usually fall out

Yep. There is no news going on this week.

Pediatricians: Most kids outgrow bedwetting [Reuters via CNN.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:38 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 27, 2005

Slow jams, all week on Philadelphia Will Do

Some announcements: As you may have noticed -- or haven't, since you're not here -- things are slow this week. (Very, very slow. And there aren't as many people at work to visit blogs to waste time, even.)

The week between Christmas and New Year's is the slowest time on earth for news organizations (and news-ish blogs like this one). This is why end-of-year features are so popular: there's nothing else to write about!

I am no exception to this general malaise toward work on this darkest of weeks. And so, everything's going to be a little slow for the next few days.

But fear not! Tomorrow, the first of a three-part year-in-Philly wrap as well more stupid headlines, horrible one-liners, fake Metro editions -- and maybe some puppies, if everyone behaves.

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Blogicized: Puppets for all

• Apparently, Rick Mariano and John Dougherty are "puppet and master." The mental images I'm getting from this? Sickening. [America's Hometown]

• This is the greatest submission to Overheard in Philly yet. I don't even care if it's made up. [Overheard in Philly]

• Who won the war on Christmas? I think this is a battle that nobody won, except for maybe pundits with nothing of real substance to say. [TommyWonk]

• Here's how to save all that money you got from your relatives. [Phillyist]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Lede of the Week, Franklin Mills edition

The opening two graphs of Inky staff writer Thomas Ginsberg's article today about the post-Holiday rush:

As shoppers snapped back into action yesterday, one self-described Scrooge sat alone in Franklin Mills Mall, surveying and scorning the scene.

"A bunch of idiots!" said Bill Lawn, 74, a Philadelphia retiree calmly sipping coffee and reading a newspaper at Gloria Jean's Coffee. "People allow their religious beliefs to be so commercialized that they don't even know what Christmas means anymore."

You know what they say: Out of the mouths of babes -- or, rather, the exact opposite of that.

Now bearing gift cards, shoppers traverse afar [Inky]

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Action News gets into the Christmas spirit

At least nobody was hurt this holiday season.

6 ABC

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A Week Without Metro

Although Jesus brought all of us lots of Christmas presents, I am still a little bummed about the biggest loss of the holiday season: the one-week lack of Metro.

Indeed, Philadelphia's free daily tab is not publishing this week, leaving me with even less material in an already news-free week. But fear not! Even though there's no Metro this week, I'll be delivering what you would have read were there an edition. Today I'll start with none other than the "Today's Debate," always a Philadelphia Will Do favorite:

See? It's like it never left!

Metro Philly

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Quickies: No boroughs here

• Congratulations to the Inquirer for doing a story about New Yorkers moving to Philadelphia and not mentioning the sixth borough. But did you have to make the story take up 75% of the front page? [Inky]

• The No. 9 Bucks County moment of 2005, according to the Bucks County Courier Times: Anthony Federov, American Idol contestant from Trevose. Indeed. [BCCT]

• That NBC show, Deal or No Deal? Yeah, it got good ratings. Sometimes you just want to take this country by its neck (Florida?) and give it a good shaking. [Hollywood Reporter via CNN.com]

• The whole Tyree (Cousin of Rasheed) Wallace shooting lets Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson focus on the important issues: How newspaper headlines offend him. [DN]

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Abridged Daily News columnists

Posted by D-Mac at 10:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Technology is grand

You may have noticed that the philadelphiawilldo.com domain isn't working right now and only willdo.philadelphiaweekly.com is. We all have, too, and it's being worked on. In the meantime, any photos with old posts won't show up. Also, I can't get my mail. Everything else should be functional.

Anything pressing -- ha! -- just email me at dmcquade@philadelphiaweekly.com.

Update: It's fixed! Hurrah!

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An army of one

A story in yesterday's Inquirer noted that the National Guard is now now advertising on pizza boxes and offering free iTunes downloads in order to attract new recruits. Previously, the National Guard was a pretty nice option for some people, but now with the chance of being sent off to war instead of some training ground, well, the numbers in the National Guard are dropping like President Bush's approval ratings.

I've seen the three free iTunes downloads if you sign up for info advertisement before, but the pizza box setup has eluded me so far. (At left is an image of a pizza shop in China, so our boys know what they're fighting against!) The Inky says the ad has a photo of a young (presumably attractive) woman, with a message saying that if you join the Guard, they'll pay you and help pay for college.

The boxes mainly are placed at mom-and-pop pizza joints in college towns, a strategic move due to the "well-established pizza-ingestion habit" of college kids, according to the Inquirer.

All well and good. They have pizza, iTunes and a NASCAR team. But what's next for the new frontier of Guard advertising? A Northwestern prof has an idea: "I'd like see an ad with somebody listening to Mozart and reading Milton or Shakespeare."

Next up: National Guard pogs!

Guard turns to pizza, iTunes for recruiting [Inky]
Sept. 29: Had I known there was a war going on...

Image by ethergo

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Two, three, four zombies eating your brains a day

This, well, bone-chilling news broke over the weekend: KYW 1060 is now the official zombie radio station of Philadelphia. We already knew this town was Zombie City, USA. And now we have more proof, from Michael Klein's Christmas Day column in the Inquirer:

When Viacom Inc. changed the name of its radio group from Infinity to CBS a few weeks back, KYW-AM (1060) had to tweak its familiar ID, in which announcer Dick Covington begins: "This... is... Newsradio." You might think such a change would be a challenge because the golden-piped Covington died in March 2004. Program director Steve Butler had an out. Before Infinity took over in the late 1990s, the station owner briefly went by "CBS." A Covington "CBS Radio" clip was found in the archives, and an engineer laid the music over it.

Then again, it's not just Philly: this is the zombie newsradio... serving Pennsylvania, New Jersey... and Delaware.

Radio waves [Inky, fifth item]
Zombie City, USA [PW]

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Correction of the Yuletide

An early Christmas present from the Philadelphia Daily News appeared on Christmas Eve:

A story in yesterday's paper concerning a double shooting in West Oak Lane should have stated that Tyree Wallace, not Police Sgt. Mike Mitchell, was a senior at Arcadia and a graduate of Roman Catholic High School.

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Correction 12.24.05 [DN]

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December 26, 2005

Philadelphia Will Do is recovering from a sugarplum-induced hangover

I'm sleeping the day off here. Taking off Dec. 26 is the new taking off Dec. 25 -- plus nobody's at work, all the other blogs aren't posting today and Whitaker said I could take off. I've got some of the usual wrapping up/looking ahead features planned for this week. It all begins tomorrow. In the meantime, Happy Holidays.

Photo by Lelik

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December 25, 2005

Just in time for Christmas, Santa brought...

... a wittle puppy with a red nose like Rudolph! (Not mine. But still: Awww!)

A very Merry Christmas (or a Happy Hanukkah, or Wonderous Winter Tree Festival, or just a nice weekend) to everyone. May you day be full of puppies and rainbows.

Red-Nosed Puppy Born Just Before Christmas [NBC 10]

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December 23, 2005

Top 5 Will Do

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Let's go:

1. Ho ho ho: Santa invites the kids to the prison training facility!
2. All you gotta do to make we twentysomethings laugh: reference weed.
3. A local church says that you might have a curse. Perhaps not making typos is the sign of a curse. (I'm not cursed, then.)
4. Kyle Korver loves him some Zack Morris.
5. The Inquirer does "Don't Stand So Close To Me" in article form.

Yay! Weekend! Have a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Pagan Tree Festival or anything else you're celebrating. I'll be back on Monday for Boxing Day goodness.

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An admission of guilt (also, there's still no news going on)

I'll be honest with you. I had a nice big ol' Christmas essay ready for you guys today -- and then my computer went and ate it. (It's nowhere to be found, I can't undelete it and I'm not rewriting it.)

And, so, I present to you the Christmas essay I wrote on Nov. 16 for the Holiday Guide: The North(east) Pole. I'll be checking out of here in a little bit -- and by "checking out," I mean "getting on the R7 and riding it to Cornwells Heights" -- so I'll take this time to wish all of you a very happy holiday season. More ruminations, in the form of essays and such, to come next week.

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Quickies: Bruce Spring Street

• Jesus, people: Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean you need to go all anti-Semitic on us. Alas. [Philly Future]

• This story about a dude whose car was taken for a joyride by an airport valet company was the lede story in the Daily News today. [DN]

• Headline: An answer to the question, "Do fish wear hats?" And a blog is born. [Crossing the Delaware]

• Scroll down for it: New Jersey might get its own "Born to Run" license plate, to be used on highways jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive. [Trenton Times]

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Who wants to screw a writer?

A friend alerted me to a study this morning claiming that writers and artists have better sex than anybody else.

Anyway, this study was for "creative artists and poets," but I don't really think it's much of a stretch to include prose writers. This strikes me as odd, since, you know (leans in forward to whisper) we writers aren't always the most desirable of the bunch. And not just physically, either; do you really want to spend a night out on the town discussing funny headlines, inverted pyramid style writing and why the AP style for the word website is stupid?

The study states that creative people and poets surveyed had an average of 4 to 10 sexual partners since 18, compared to 3 for the 'average' person. The researchers surmised that there could be more exploration for the creative person and that the more creative the person, the more partners he or she had. (This latter statement seems to be coming from someone with a Ph.D. in bullshit.)

I, of course, though encourage this stereotype as writers and artists as wild sexual creatures. In fact, you might want to spread it around. Yeah, go ahead. Make sure to add "especially bloggers" at the end of anything good you say. Please?

Creative Spark Fuels Active Sex Life [NBC 10]

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Dot matrix revolutions

Music and Ivy League basketball guru Jon Solomon is hosting a 24-hour marathon of Christmas music over the weekend -- 6 p.m. Saturday to 6 p.m. Sunday -- and Sara Sherr caught up with him in the Daily News today. What I'm most excited about is this:

Q: Strangest holiday song?

A: This year, I've got holiday songs performed using rubber bands, dot matrix printers and old car horns!

Dot matrix printers? Shit, I'm tuning in now.

His 24-hour holiday radio marathon offers selections from Sinatra to punk [DN]

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Correction of the day, 'Well, that cleared it up' division

From the Daily News, who's really been racking up the corrections recently:

A story in Tuesday's Daily News incorrectly said the Nonprofit Finance Fund helps non-profits with fund-raising; it does not. It provides financing and technical assistance to non-profits.

Uhh, thanks? Editor's Note: Your humble guide is too filled with holiday cheer to be funny today. I know; I know. Don't worry, there's really not too many more posts to go today.

Correction [DN]
Monday: Lady looks like a dude

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Abridged Daily News columnists

I'm not going to touch the death penalty point/counterpoint columns -- new rule for this feature: no dueling columnists -- and with Elmer Smith off, we just have Jill Porter to tackle.

Jill Porter: A great group that gives cribs to needy families -- who were brought into action by me, Jill Porter, righter of wrongs, columnist to the poor, king of kings -- is probably going to be forced to close. Merry Christmas!

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'Bulletin' spreads Christmas cheer

Ahh, nothing like Christmas time to think about heart attacks.

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Putting the 'Christ' back in 'Nachomas'

A headline from -- all together now -- NBC 10:

You know, I really have no plans at making fun of this story. Hey, it's a few days before Christmas, who knows where Jesus might appear? But I do have this question: Who decided that a good subhead for "Workers See Jesus Image In Nacho Pan" was "Pan Used To Heat Nachos"?

Workers See Jesus Image In Nacho Pan [NBC 10]

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Could you get a little less technical?

Let's begin today's oh-so-let's-get-out-of-here-as-soon-as-possible day of blog posting with a simple crime in Bucks County:

Antonio Potalivo, 20, Philadelphia, 6:15 p.m., Wed, theft by un-lawful taking at Target, Bensalem.

He could have gotten away with it had he just taken it lawfully. Geeze.

Public safety log 12.23.05 [Bucks County Courier Times]

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December 22, 2005

Blogicized: Reduce, reuse, recycle

• Another good thing about Philly: Dumpster diving sidewalk swiping for closet doors six panel wooden art pieces. [Dragonballyee]

• To be honest, the headline sold me on this one: Atlantic City: Las Vegas for Ugly People. And Bloggers. What's Wildwood, then? [TinaPoPo and Friends]

• In weather news, the blob heads toward Philadelphia. [Philadelphia Weather]

• Our favorite reporter/liberablogger Will Bunch asks: What's on Dick Cheney's iPod? What, he doesn't have one built in? [Attytood]

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Catching up with the Bunny Blog

I haven't checked in on the Eagles' bunny blogger recently, so I figured I'd take a look. If you missed the story earlier this month, the quick recap: Kendra Wilkinson, who's on The Girls Next Door as one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends, blogs for the Eagles. (That's her at left with Hef.)

She's really only posted two times, all the other posts are just photos of her. This, of course, is not so bad, since she's a model and all. But, she did weigh in earlier this month on the charity basketball game she was planning on coaching:

"Shout out to the bloggers for the suggestions on what to do coaching in the basketball game. A lot of people think I can show up with a short skirt on and a skimpy outfit and distract the other team – NOT TRUE!!! CAN'T DO IT!!! The NBA specifically told me not to wear anything skimpy. I have to wear pants and I have to look like a coach. I'm like, 'Dang ....' I have a dress code just like the players!!!!

"It's gonna be super cool and i'm just gonna tell the guys to pass the ball and have fun. They've all played ball. No, i’m gonna be like Bob Knight and throw chairs!!!! Keep it fun ... that’s my main thing.[...]

“I told Hef about the blogs and he's into it. A fan on the blog said we should show me and Hef watching an Eagles game for 'The Girls Next Door' next season and he wants to do it. I need to get him an Eagles robe for Christmas. That would be a cool present ... They've taped me before watching a game but they didn't use it .. some stupid rules from the NFL or something like that. Hef wants to promote the Eagles and give a shout out!! Yea, boy ....”

So, the NBA hires a playboy bunny to coach a charity game, then tells her she has to wear, in essence, a parka. Effing morons.

Bird Bunny's Blog [PhiladelphiaEagles.com]
Dec. 7: Eagles find way to keep fans interested in season

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Even I think this post is pointless

And now for today's Philadelphia Will Do media minutiae: There's a correction in today's Inquirer that, at face value, seems pretty banal:

A photo of Temple basketball player Keith Butler was misidentified in Sunday's editions.

Now, a quick perusal of Sunday's paper will find no mention of Keith Butler (at left). But it will show his photo -- next to a story about Antywane Robinson, who Temple Coach John Chaney calls the "one of the great shooters that we've ever had here."

So, obviously, the paper accidentally ran Butler's photo. (An analysis couldn't determine if the guy in the photo was Butler or not, but it's safe to say it was.)

No big deal. Except that, well, Butler left the team after last season and is now sitting out the season after transferring to DePaul. So, you know, it's easier to find a photo of a guy who left the team than with one who's currently on it. I suppose that makes sense.

Alterna-title for this post: 'Slow news week, eh?' And, yes, it is, to answer your question.

Clearing the record [Inky]
Owls' Robinson enjoys silence [Inky]
Flyer notes [Dayton Daily News, second item]

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Smells like Holy Spirit

Jason-like, every two weeks, the wacky religious exorcism/"break the curse" ad rises from the dead and appears in the Metro. How do they pay for these things? But I digress.

Today's ad contains no testimonials, no mispellings in the checklist for "what could be your curse" -- but it does contain this Bible quote (click here for the full ad):

Know what's awesome? The full Luke 14:34-35 actually saids: "Salt [is] good: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be seasoned? It is neither fit for the land, nor yet for the dunghill; [but] men cast it out. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear."

The Gospel of Luke [BibleStudents.com]
Dec. 8: Crime does pay!

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Letters from the frontlines in the War on Christmas

In these jolly times, sometimes we must turn our attention to something less happier. Yes: The War. No, not that little skirmish over in the Sandbox -- the insurgents are in their "last throes," I swear -- but the War on Christmas.

The WoC has been heating up for the past few years, but this year it has just gotten way too much. Secular humanists ripping down Christmas trees, Athiests burning wreathes, Muslims not celebrating at all. And don't get me started on "Happy Holidays." But it's also important to know who's fighting the good fight, and who's clearly trying to win the battles.

Those battles, of course, are taking place on the letters pages of community newspapers across the country. In this week's Northeast Times, some of the warriors -- on both sides of the fight -- have weighed in, and I'd like to highlight a few choice examples. For example, this week's letters page contains this dispatch:

Don't you dare take away my faith

Now that the Christmas season is upon us, it’s time for those dreaded "Happy Holidays" remarks to be tossed about as well as the documentaries about Christ on the Discovery Channel.

I do enjoy the documentaries, and it is interesting to learn more about Christ the man, his life and times, etc., however, I cannot help but detect in these programs the scientific views and explaining away of Christ the son of God.

It would seem that everything Christ was said to have accomplished really didn't happen at all. Isn’t it any wonder Christmas is so secular these days?

I don't believe in Christ the son of God because my church tells me that's what I'm supposed to believe. I believe in Christ the son of God because a man named Jesus, the son of a carpenter, obviously accomplished something so momentous that today, 2,000 years later, the world is still affected by those accomplishments, hence, the religion called Christianity. It's called faith, people, and no one has the right to take that away from me. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Esther Skitek
Tacony

Esther gives us a little history lesson here to blunt the attacks of the WoC, as well as a catchphrase-able statement: "It's called faith, people!" In case you're a little confused about the history here, you can get the result via simple math:

Carpenter's son does something momentous + 2,000 years = Christianity

See, aren't you glad that you have my analysis? The rest of the Northeast Times holiday -- err, Christmas -- cheer after the jump.

The real enemy is the secular world

This is in response to the letter from Heather Evans-Smith (The retailers that stole Hanukkah, Dec. 8 edition).

Dear Heather, I fully agree with you about the problem of chain stores not selling things for Hanukkah. Although I am not of the Jewish faith, I am a Christian, and that means that I believe in the same God. And because of this, I can say that it is unfair that this country is doing its best to stop any worship of the God of Israel!

I personally have STOPPED buying things from Wal-Mart, Target and a few other stores because of this, and the way they are stopping Christmas in general. Why should I (or you) spend your hard-earned money and give to people who are trying their best to stop the worship of God?

If enough Christians and Jews would stop fighting themselves long enough to look around, they would all see that the real enemy is the secular world, not the Jews vs. Christians.

So, I would like to suggest that this year (and every year) we all (Jews and Christians) start looking to God. If not, we may find ourselves in Babylon.

It is such a shame that people want to take the Christ out of Christmas. The retailers want the money that they make, and the people seem to want the benefits of Christmas, but so many want to take the Christ out of Christmas.

Has everyone forgotten that the only reason for the "holiday" is Christ? Has everyone forgotten that the only reason we can even d