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August 31, 2005Tonight: The Teeth + Dr. DogTonight at 7 p.m. in Rittenhouse Square PW is hosting the third in our "Concerts in the Park" series, this one featuring The Teeth and Dr. Dog. Clicky clicky on the banner below for all the details.
Also: it's all free. Posted by D-Mac at 03:54 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack Link dump: "Oh, that was a good answer, wasn't it?"• Mourning New Orleans: A writer deals with horrific destruction of the only city his family's ever known. Very good essay. [Slate] • Shep Smith of the esteemed Fox News Channel asked a guy what he was doing staying in New Orleans (and walking his dogs). The response: "None of your fucking business!" Yeah, quit getting in everyone's business, Shep. [Political Teen] • In the original (French) version of the super-cute documentary March of the Penguins, the penguins had voiceover conversations with each other, like it was Homeward Bound. What, Homeward Bound wasn't a documentary? (Note: March of the Penguins is the first movie Hollywood has ever made better after buying it.) [Kottke.org] • OK, yes, we've all seen that photo of George Bush playing his guitar (with the presidential seal on it, natch) today. Yes, yes, he's like Nero, we get it. Har de har har. Anyway: Will Bunch has an interesting take on how the energies and money focused on the war could hurt relief efforts for New Orleans. [Attytood] Posted by D-Mac at 03:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack Bucks County crime wave continuesToday's public safety log details the current crime wave going on in our neighbor to the north: Bristol Township Lower Bucks County: becoming more like Grand Theft Auto every day. Public safety log 08.31.05 [BCCT] Posted by D-Mac at 02:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack Herb Denenberg has a posse
When we last saw consumer reporter Herb Denenberg, he was calling the Inquirer anti-Semetic and saying things like "What I see in the Inquirer is anti-Israeli from A to Z!" (The Daily News, by the way, is all-Philadelphia Eagles from T to O.) So where does a 75-year-old consumer reporter who doesn't like Knight-Ridder work? Why, the city's contrarian broadsheet, of course! Yes, The Evening Bulletin, the resurrected paper with a conservative editorial page and my former employer -- see, full disclosure, even if it makes the sentence even longer and more awkward! -- has been running Herbie the Love Bug's columns for a few weeks now under the title of "The Advocate." Hot. Most of the columns are FAQs on consumer issues, which is what Herb has done for, like, ever. (I'm pretty sure he wrote for the old Bulletin.) I always dig Q&A columns, especially ones that make me wonder who would write to Herb Freakin' Denenberg about this: Question: Was President Franklin D. Roosevelt one of the first to get polio in the U.S.? Now all the Bulletin needs to do is hire Don Polec and Herb Clarke and they'll be set. From Pesky Squirrels To Air-Bag Gas [Bulletin, print only] Posted by D-Mac at 01:42 PM | Comments (72) | TrackBack Craigslist MC: "The boy who had to turn at Red Lion"• Boulevard stalking! Today the Craigslist missed connections section gives and gives and gives and asks so little in return. Anybody want to share a Boulevard moment? Somehow I think all the accidents on the boulevard are caused by people car stalking and not paying attention when the light turns red. • More of a question than a missed connection: What's up with everybody checking each other out at Wawa? Umm, 'cause every 7-Eleven is ridiculously scuzzy, duh! • Something about a girl running over a dog in her car makes me sad. • Fortunately, a human didn't get hit by a car. What is it with people who use the missed connections board to thank people for hitting their dogs/cars or possibly not hitting their dogs/cars? Uhh, hello? There's a rants and raves board for a reason! Posted by D-Mac at 12:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack The $10 ride of death
Anyway, New York senator Charles Schumer apparently has a girl in college, and, doggonit, she knows of this "Chinatown bus" and if there's one thing politicians like to do, it's talk about their families. (Family values are so in!) Money quote: "My daughter goes to college in Boston, and many of her friends ride these buses, and they said they were worried about them." Schumer's daughter doesn't ride the Chinatown bus, of course, she's too good for that. But, hey, she knows people who do. And so Chuck is calling for tighter safety controls on the Chinatown buses, which would presumably include the Philly-to-N.Y. one. With this, plus high gas prices, it can only mean higher fares for the same shitty service. Time to go back to the R7-to-N.J. Transit route, I suppose. Chuck: Crack down on Chinatown bus [New York Post, via Wonkette] Posted by D-Mac at 10:33 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack Finally, Philly gets its Google Maps hack
Not surprisingly, the maps are essentially a series of points on Market, Frankford and Broad with most of the city pretty much empty. I was looking for an option to extend the Broad Street Line up the Boulevard -- the rumored plan since I was about two -- but I couldn't find one. Also, the map does nothing to explain why there's no R4. Oh, wait, we all know the answer: SEPTA incompetence. SEPTA Google Maps [Bieniosek.com via Phillyist] Posted by D-Mac at 09:57 AM | Comments (324) | TrackBack This ticket agency is bananas
I can't wait for this concert. Posted by D-Mac at 09:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack Boy I guess!
Indeed, this time it's Snoop Dogg, who apparently didn't make enough money selling out and wants a cool $2 mil from Barbera for using his image in an ad. This comes on the heels of 50 Cent, who sued Barbera earlier for $1 million for using his name an image in an ad. I kind of dig Barbera's new marketing strategy, using rappers' likenesses without their permission (allegedly, at least) in order to get people to dealerships in the Northeast and in beeeeautiful Roxborough. It sure beats using B-list athletes (Koy Detmer) to try to sell Chryslers. I have it on good authority that the next five rappers Barbera will use in ads are, in order: The Game, Funkmaster Flex, Sir Mix-A-Lot*, MC Hammer and Young MC. *Note: Sir Mix-A-Lot is a registered trademark of the Target Corporation. Howard Gensler | Snoop Dogg one-ups 50 Cent, sues Barbera for $2M [DN] Posted by D-Mac at 09:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack Phutility
Oh, and man: 1991 called -- it wants its haircut back. Just another example of today's liberal (or possibly conservative, I forget which way the new is biased today) media, which isn't like the great media of old, which, you know, did well-researched reports on battleship explosions and eight-year old heroin addicts. They really did a good job for the country -- this asshole certainly is an insult to journalists everywhere. Frankly, I'm mortified. OK, not as mortified as I was when the Phillies blew that lead last night, but still pretty high on the mortification scale. (Editor's Note: Funny? Or a lame attempt to ward off any criticism by doing it myself? You make the call.) Unmasking Charlie [PW] Posted by D-Mac at 08:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack Hurricanes are sadSo, like, a lot of people died and a ton of people are left homeless 'cause of this whole Hurricane Katrina fiasco, so if you can give money to the Red Cross or any other relief group, please do. Posted by D-Mac at 02:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack August 30, 2005Link dump: "Have you ever been decapitated?"• A list of poll questions that may one day appear on the Internet. [McSweeney's] • Like it when Tony Soprano says fuck? Well, too bad, if certain politicians have their way, cable will be just as boring as network television. God bless the Internet. [Salon] • Apparently, Democrats are the new Republicans, in that they're the party of "individual freedoms." This strikes me as odd, 'cause I thought that Republicans were the more Libertarian-type. Oh, wait, that's only in fantasy land where everyone has views based on their beliefs and nobody sells out for votes. Whoops! [MyDD] • Blogs bash mainstream media, get excited when they get mentioned in mainstream media. Film at 11. [PhillyFuture via Pstupidonymous] Posted by D-Mac at 04:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack At last, the local angleLet's do a little comparison of the major cable news' stations Web sites: 
OK, we get it: the networks want people to do their jobs for them. Aside from loathing the term "citizen journalist" -- as if, say, me or Fox News' anchors do so great a job that they need to be separated from the unwashed masses -- it's actually probably a good thing. The people who want their stories on TV will get it out there perhaps, there's more information, etc., etc. It seems lazy, but I understand it. NBC10, however, is looking to do the same: but from a local perspective. 
Shit, I need to cut my hair, put on a suit and get my gas price horror story ready. Posted by D-Mac at 02:38 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack Greatest of all time
Indeed, two trucks collided earlier today, sending goats flying -- at least in my imagination of this event -- all over the Pennsylvania Turnpike and closing down all but one lane around the Ft. Washington area. Leave it to NBC10 to be all over this story. Update: The traffic and school closings station (KYW 1060) has further details in its comprehensive goat crash accident report: A double-decker livestock trailer was rear-ended by another tractor trailer heading Eastbound on the Pennsylvania Turnpike early Tuesday morning. Dozens of animals were killed. No humans were injured. You know how all the anchors are saying that Hurricane Katrina is "our tsunami"? Am I wrong to say that this is our Hurricane Katrina? Goats cause traffic jam on Pa. turnpike [NBC10] Posted by D-Mac at 02:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack Another good place to play, ruined
It seems that there's been a bit of a crime nuisance recently in the Lower Bucks area, and we're just plain upset that the county just north of the city has gone south so quickly. Some of the crimes just in this last week, courtesy of the Lower Bucks crime log in the Bucks County Courier Times: 900 block Wood Rd., Oakford, 11:50 p.m., 2 eggs thrown at residence. It's a crime wave! People are having hazy Million Dollar Baby viewing-induced rages of egging cars and houses, knocking over trashcans and drinking in playgrounds! I'm glad I live in Center City now, where it's safe, frankly. Public Safety Log [BCCT] Posted by D-Mac at 12:12 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack We're all gonna die!
And people die in car accidents and shootings and of diseases, like cancer. Oh, yeah, cancer. The Associated Press came through with a happy story about a study that tied being a redhead with getting cancer. More news: for redheads, there's a greater chance of sunburn, and a greater chance of cancer even if you don't burn. And, the kicker: blondes "harbor some of the same pigment as redheads." Light skin, blondes, redheads, eh? Ireland is fucked. Research details cancer risk for redheads [AP via Y! News] Posted by D-Mac at 11:27 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack Katrina? You're punny.
That's apparently the thinking of newspaper writers and editors, who are looking for their chance at a 2005 SPJ Headline Award or possibly just throwing down the first thing that comes to them. (We're thinking a little from column A, a little from column B.) Indeed, when Blinq and Attytood are using the same pun, you know we've hit critical mass. At quarter to 10, Google News shows 40 matches for "Katrina and the Waves" references in hurricane stories. (Note: This doesn't include the "A wave of worries" headline on the cover of the business section of the Inquirer today.) We'll update this as that number rises. See, this is the kind of rising toll after a hurricane that isn't sad or morbid! Katrina and the waves: We're going down to Washington to do nothing [Attytood] Posted by D-Mac at 09:41 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack We've already covered this, haven't we?Look, we know it's a slow local news week -- it is August, and if hurricanes aren't crashing into your shores there's not much going on -- but there's no need to report things that have already been mentioned in your own newspaper. Today's Mark Alan Hughes column? Well, just read the headline: Mark Alan Hughes | THE END OF GRASS AS WE KNOW ITWell, of course. They busted that pot delivery service last Friday. Mark Alan Hughes: The end of grass as we know it [DN] Posted by D-Mac at 09:02 AM | Comments (0) Take my wife, pleaseToday's Daily News contains this gem of a correction: A July 19 John Baer column mistakenly reported that the wife of state Rep. W. Curtis Thomas accompanied him on a recent China trade trip. Mr. Thomas is not married. A travel list provided to the Daily News by an official of the House Speaker's office contained inaccurate information. This is done in the typical newspaper correction style: "It's not our fault! We were given inaccurate information!" That's par for the course, and for something like this, it's certainly not a big deal. (And, hey, they avoided the whole "clarification" thing at least.) What's really confusing is that the DN asked somebody in the person in the office of the House Speaker -- that's John Perzel, for those keeping score at home -- who was there, and got the reply that one of the people was W. Curtis Thomas' wife, a person who doesn't exist. Or maybe Mr. Thomas is just another guy afraid of commitment. Correction: 8.30.05 [DN] Posted by D-Mac at 08:35 AM | Comments (0) Souled outWhen it launched in 1995, the defunct online culture mag Suck debuted with a manifesto of sorts. "At Suck," it concluded, "we abide by the principle which dictates that somebody will always position himself or herself to systematically harvest anything of value in this world for the sake of money, power and/or ego-fulfillment. We aim to be that somebody." In short: We're going to sell out. We can't wait to sell out. The Web is a lot different than it was in 1995. There's Google and blogs and spam and pop-up banner ads and cookies and all these things there wasn't really much, if any, of 10 years ago. While most of the aspects of the Web have been mixed blessings, at best, there is now money to be made from the Internet for the average person, something almost unheard of back then. I'll keep this short: I don't need to hope. I am that somebody. That's right: I've already sold out. If you've been here before, you know that this was my personal blog, with its heart-centric design, its essays on ex-girlfriends and college and, occassionally, the horrors of Carmen Sandiego erotic fiction. Now, reborn, exactly a year after I began this whole blog shindig, Philadelphia Will Do is live again, with ads and financial backing and exactly zero hearts in the logo. I'll repeat: I've sold out. Philadelphia Weekly's paying the bills now. This doesn't mean much to you, except the site's going to have a slightly different focus and a lot more writing on it. (Yes, sometimes it pays to think before you start putting your thoughts on the Web; the countless meetings I've sat in the past month have proved to be more than helpful.) So why do I tell you all this? Transparency. I want Philadelphia Will Do to be a bullshit-free site, or at least a site that recognizes bullshit -- including when I'm bullshitting, too. Being entertaining and interesting is my first priority, sure, but I hope to do it in an honest and forthcoming way. Nobody's going to be reading my words before they go online. I'm not going to have to clear anything with the top brass here at PW. Am I going to be writing 15 lovey-dovey essays a day about why City Paper is so great? No, of course not: that'd be boring. But, for example, if CP writes something really interesting that I want to comment on, am I going to write about it? Sure. The great thing about the Internet (and, yes, blogging) is that sites aren't always in competition with each other. Linking back and forth, praising well-written thoughts and bashing stupid ones, helps everyone out. That being said, I hope you can appreciate my selling out. I'm always open to criticism, praise, tips, etc. -- please e-mail me if you have one of those. And you'll be able to comment on most every post, too. Except this one, of course, since I don't want you idiots ruining the first thing I've written here. Yep, you're right: that sure sounds like bullshit to me, too. Posted by D-Mac at 07:00 AM |
Recently two Chinatown buses headed from New York to Boston caught fire, which doesn't surprise us, since they're Chinatown buses and they're the cheapest form of transportation known to man. Even if you walked from Philadelphia to New York you'd pay more, since you'd have to buy new shoes once you got there. (Note: Walking to New York is probably faster than riding the Chinatown bus.)
Somebody finally got around to doing what had already been done for NYC, editing 
Dan Gross checks in from vacation today to tell all the Daily News readers what they needed to know: 
Wow, what a great piece of so-called "journalism" today by this dude in PW. First, he presents a thesis that Cholly Manuel is a bad manager who anyone could outmanage -- and then he fails to do it!
I must apologize for missing the greatest news story of the week earlier today. You know, opening day jitters and all.
It seems Bucks County has changed a lot since I was a 17-year-old spending my nights at the Suburban Diner and ratting around the Neshaminy Mall. 
Man, things are pretty rough these days. There's a giant hurricane that, while it didn't hit quite as hard as everyone thought it was going to, still killed a bunch of people and caused a ton of damage. And, if you didn't remember, there's a war going on and people are dying during that.
Hey, just because everybody else knows it's an obvious, way-too-easy pun doesn't mean we can't do it, too, right?