Philadelphia Will Do

December 18, 2007

Ohio's Bonnie & Clyde: Bank Robbers, Witches

In the great time B.A.C.A.C.A.F.D. (Before Alycia Called A Cop A 'Fucking Dyke'), this is what I was going to post first thing Monday morning. Over the weekend, CNN's front page included this write-up of a real '07 Bonnie and Clyde, a trio (Nicole Boyd, Roger Lee Dillon and his mom, Sharon Lee Gregory) alleged to have stolen $7.4 million from an armored car company Roger Lee worked for.

Only, this Bonnie & Clyde are, literally, the hillbilly version of Jocelyn Kirsch and Edward Anderton. The three were picked up after allegedly taking the millions after Black Friday. They're the talk of Hickville (see), everyone's making fun of them for leaving behind hilarious clues (see) and a hot girl who could have been a model (see).

Only, since it's not Philadelphia and is instead Youngstown, Ohio -- two hours away from Oberlin! -- she was actually $290 in debt to one of those mall modeling companies -- the $290 was for the first year of a three year modeling contract -- that makes you pay money first. Oh, but she wasn't charged! "She was like an All-American girl. She was beautiful," the president tells the AP.

Continue reading "Ohio's Bonnie & Clyde: Bank Robbers, Witches"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:31 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

December 17, 2007

Drexel Staff Baffled By Obvious Jocelyn Kirsch Lie

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about our girl Jocelyn Kirsch, the female half of the Bonnie & Clyde of Identity Fraud. Today's Daily News points to a story from a recent Drexel Triangle article with this fun tale: Jocelyn Kirsch allegedly claimed to be an adjunct professor at Drexel.

The Drexel paper says Kirsch pretended to be an adjunct in order to get a free parking pass and use University computers at Drexel's Language and Communication Center.

Kirsch, known around the language office for her revealing clothes and long dark hair walked to the front desk and asked for a pass last year while taking a placement test. When asked if she was a professor she claimed to be an adjunct and was granted the pass. "I was very convinced," said one staff member who wished to remain anonymous.

Kirsch used the pass for two weeks, the paper says, but doesn't say why she stopped. Now they apparently "grill" people asking for passes. Actually, here Kirsch just sounds kinda awesome. Compared to Alycia Lane, I think she's Katherine Drexel.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:22 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

December 07, 2007

Blue-Collar Dads In Blue-Collar Caps

Hmm, where were we? Oh, right: The Bonnie & Clyde of Identity Fraud. Anyway, yesterday the parents showed up to take Jocelyn Kirsch (22, w/ tits) and Edward Anderton (25, w/o) home to get away from Lu Ann Cahn standing out front of their condo.

Anyway, the lawyerly damage control has already begun. Anderton's family, it turns out, can only afford baseball caps.

"To his parents, this is a lot of money," Anderton's attorney, Larry Krasner, told Municipal Court Judge Thomas Gehret yesterday. Krasner, who had few words for reporters, griped to Gehret that their reports had made it look like Anderton "is somehow privileged and he is wealthy."

Facing Bail Commissioner Dwain Hill at a later hearing, Krasner said: "His father works for a newspaper, and he goes to work in a baseball cap and blue jeans."

Meanwhile, radio DJ Kidd Chris has offered $2,000 for an interview with Kirsch. Two thousand? Please. Girl's probably just spent that much on Chris' credit card just this morning.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Bonnie & Clyde Leave Town; City Continues Enthrallment

A reader emailed me to complain I was spending too much time focusing on the media's obsession with Jocelyn "Bonnie" Kirsch of the 2007 Bloodless Bonnie & Clyde duo (which also features Edward Anderton, who nobody knows anything about).

Yesterday, the pair both left the city to return to their home states. Anderton (who?) is home on the west coast in Washington, while Kirsch is back home in North Carolina.

But back to the actual crime: Police allege Kirsch and Anderton stole the identities of several people -- five so far, according to NBC 10 -- banking at least $100,000. Police say they may have installed spyware on their neighbors' computers; a discussion I had with not one but two separate Foodery clerks came to the conclusion they totally made a ton of amateurish mistakes.

When police raided their Rittenhouse apartment, they allegedly found a ton of fake IDs and, most hilariously, a 2005 Daily Pennsylvanian article about how bouncers spot fake IDs. The cops also found Kirsch's iPhoto directory (or whatever) and released a ton of photos to the press to make the story sexier.

More on this later today -- hopefully I can dump everything in "bonnieandclyde.txt" on my desktop on the blog today -- but the main story is definitely that Facebook group "SHE GOIN' TO JAAAAAAAAIL!!!! (and THAT'S hilarious)" is back up. Wow, Drexel girls are way mean. Rawr.

Oh, yeah, and that other Jocelyn Kirsch Facebook group has photos of her from elementary school. Ahh, okay.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:31 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

December 06, 2007

Hey, Look, An Actual 2007 Bonnie & Clyde

GREENWOOD, Ind. -- Savannah Myers met Ronald Palmer on the Internet this year. The two began dating in late spring -- and by June, they told police, they began robbing banks.

Police say Myers and Palmer, arrested in Greenwood on Monday, are suspected of robbing at least 11 banks and one hotel in a four-state spree that began last summer.

Gee, now what could be making the Philadelphia story so much more popular?

'She liked it when I called them Bonnie and Clyde' [Indianapolis Star]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:21 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)